In college, going out can go one of two ways. Either you have the best night of your life, you’re super social and you look rockin’… or you’re hair turns out in a sweaty mess, your makeup smears all over your face and you’re stuck throwing up all night. Let’s be real, it’s usually the second one. Your expectation vs. reality when going out tends to be quite different.
1. Doing Your Makeup
Expectation: “I’m going to do a smokey eye and red lipstick and add some fake lashes. Its going to look so good.”
Reality: “WHY IS ONE WING BETTER THAN THE OTHER!”
2. Doing your hair
Expectation: “I’m going to give it a nice soft curl so it looks natural.”
Reality: “Oh my god, what is this?”
3. Picking out your outfit
Expectation: “I’ve got it all planed out. This outfit always makes me look super skinny!”
Reality (20 outfits later): “I have literally nothing to wear!”
4. Pregaming
Expectation: “I’m just going to chill and take a few shots and drink a beer.”
Reality: “Take another shot, you’ve only had 5!” and “Time for flippy-cup. Oh, you don’t like beer? Here, play with a four loco!” – your friends, encouraging you to drink more than you had planned.
5. Actually going out
Expectation: “I don’t think that the bars will be too crowded tonight.”
Reality: “Who are these people and why do they all want drinks?”
6. Dancing
Expectation: “Let’s all go dance, it’ll be fun!”
Reality (sees a creepy man behind you): “Okay, no more dancing…”
7. Feelings
Expectation: “Wow, I look good tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever looked better.”
Reality: “Okay, that girl is way prettier than me. So is that girl. And that girl. Wow, I suck.”
8. Cops in the Bar
Expectation: “Just play it cool, act like he isn’t even there. If he ID’s you, just say you lost it in the bar.”
Reality: “Guys, we have to get out of here… NOW! Get your stuff, come on, let’s go!”
9. Friends
Expectation: “Let’s stick together tonight, I don’t want to lose you in the crowd!”
Reality: Texting your friends all night saying:
Text #1: “Hey where did you go?”
Text #2: “Really, where did you go?”
Text #3: “Did you go home with someone?”
Text #4: “Helllllooooo?!”
10. Going home
Expectation: “Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’ll go home with someone. We’ll see.”
Reality: “Here we are, home alone…again.”
11. Sleep
Expectation: “I’m going to pass out after I get home tonight.”
Reality: “Why. Cant. I. Stop. Puking.”
12. Hangover
Expectation: “I’m going to get up in the morning and make myself a good breakfast!”
Reality: “What happened last night? Wow, is it the afternoon already?”
Drink responsibly, collegiettes!