So you just started dating someone, and Christmas is right around the corner. What were you thinking? Why did you not take a look at the calendar before you agreed to go on that first date? While dating someone new right before the holidays can cause a lot of stress or anxiety, it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are five tips on how to make your holiday season the best one yet without making it awkward with your new bae.
1) Gifts?!
Should you buy anything? How much money should you spend? Are they going to get you anything? If you haven’t been dating long, how do you even know what a good gift for them would be? No doubt you have been stressing over this once you realized how close the holidays were.
The first step to calming your nerves is the element that is in every good relationship. COMMUNICATION! Yeah, it could be awkward, but wouldn’t you rather have an awkward moment now than break up just to avoid this? It doesn’t have to be awkward. Find a way to bring it up in conversation and get on the same page. Agree on if you will give gifts at all and then if you want to take it a step further set a price limit.
2) What do you get them?
If you agree you will give gifts, what do you get them? As if getting gifts for your friends and family aren’t hard enough every year, now you have to figure out what to get for your new boyfriend/girlfriend. What should you buy or make?
Some ideas:
- Dinner at their favorite restaurant or a restaurant they have always wanted to go to with a smaller, less expensive gift
- If they are the kind of person that likes antique stores or random item,s take them to an antique store and buy whatever they like the most. This way they get a fun, memorable, unique date and a fun item to remember it by.
- Movie marathon of their favorite series. In the age of Netflix and Hulu, we often forget how often we used to give movies as gifts. If they truly love a series, your offering to watch the entire thing with them could mean a great deal. Want to add more? Get some popcorn, candy and pop to give the night the authentic movie theatre feel. If it is a marathon, you’re going to need food anyways.
- *Don’t forget the staples. Depending on how serious the relationship is, you can look into the classic gifts such as wallets, watches and jewelry,
NOTE: It is generally a good idea to avoid buying clothing items where you need to know the person’s size, unless you already know the answer. Early on, couples are usually self-conscious, so asking them for their size to buy the gift could make them uncomfortable.
3) How much time to shuold you spend together?
While it is often tempting to want to spend as much time together as possible with your partner, don’t be afraid to not spend Christmas day together. Just because you don’t see each other on Christmas Day does not mean that you don’t care about one another; it means that you are with family and are spending Christmas how you have every other year and how you will probably continue to spend Christmas for years to come.
4) CALM DOWN!
Don’t worry so much. Chances are they are just as worried about this as you are. Chances are you are both stressing together, unaware and thinking that the other is completely composed and prepared. Realize that you are both human and nervous. There is no reason to move too fast or pretend that you are prepared for things that you aren’t. Keep an open communication with your partner.
5) The Family
Are they going to meet my family? Am I going to meet theirs?!
This is a difficult question to answer, as it depends so much on each couple and their families. You should once again use clear communication with your partner to come to an understanding on what to do.
If you decide to not meet each others’ families, do not be offended or put out that you don’t get to meet their family. Just because you don’t meet their family this December doesn’t mean you can’t meet them over Easter if things are still going well between the two of you. Besides, if you and your partner are very new to your relationship, do you really want grandma messing up your name every time she asks you to pass the gravy and then being remembered as the person to came to dinner after dating their son/grandson or daughter/granddaughter after only a few weeks?
If you do decide to meet each other’s family, nothing says awkward like bringing your new love interest to the dinner table surrounded by relatives who have known you since birth and, therefore, know EVERY embarrassing story about you. This can make it tempting to avoid the family meeting, however, you have to realize that your partner has just as many (or at least a few) embarrassing stories that you can hear when you meet their family. Do you really want to pass that up?
NOTE: Don’t underestimate the power of not showing up empty handed to the family gathering. If you can bake, cook, or even make a really good salad, your efforts will be appreciated at the very least. And if what you bring is truly good, you gain even more points. If you really can’t bake or cook, just unwrap that box of cookies and plate it on your own and say it is a family recipe. After all, nothing says holiday cheer like lying to loved ones as our parents did for years. . . .
Photo credits: All photos found on Pinterest and Tumblr.