Weirdest Things We’ve Overheard on College Campuses

“If I die from Nickel, I want to be reincarnated as a UConn squirrel.” ~University of Connecticut

“I will literally punch you in the face if you touch my Club Penguin account again.” ~Said by a guy outside Whitney that was about to punch his friend at the University of Connecticut

“Unless you’ve met Michelle Obama, the Central Limit Theorem is definitely the coolest thing you’ve ever seen.” ~University of Connecticut

“I overheard someone in the dining hall saying ‘I’m gonna tell him I have a bird fetish and ask him to feed me bird seed while we’re naked.’” ~University of Connecticut

“Dude, you are like a fireworks show without the finale.” ~St Mary’s College of Maryland

“Wanna get union food and go harass the abortion people after class?” ~Bowling Green State University

“I’m voting for Trump.” ~University of Connecticut

“That was such a good bacon, egg and cheese. I miss it already.” ~University of Connecticut

“My college has a statue of a griffin on top of a book (like in the image) and there is the weirdest myth that says if anyone finishes college and they are still virgins, the griffin flies away!” ~Universidade de Aveiro, Portugal

Image courtesy of student

“Fruit roll up condoms.” ~University of Connecticut

“I’m wearing all black today to mourn my sanity.” ~University of Connecticut

“Rob Lowe is on his like, 4th rebirth.” ~University of Connecticut

“Sooop dooop” ~University of Connecticut

“I’m just not that environmentally friendly.” ~Overheard on Earth Day at the University of Connecticut

“I saw a squirrel in McMahon. I think he wanted me to swipe him in?” ~University of Connecticut

“I wish I was in a tank top right now so I can show you how LONG my armpit hair is!” ~Outside Shippee Residence Hall at the University of Connecticut

“Don’t touch me. You stole my container of sour cream.” ~In a dining hall via Yik Yak at the University of Connecticut

“Weirdest thing I’ve heard at college was when someone yelled at the local church that serves pancakes to the kids walking home from the bars: ‘Jesus was a homosexual with a foot fetish’ and then cited proof from the Bible” ~Bowling Green State University

 “Someone screaming into their phone as I walked past: ‘It’s called a monkey fetish!’” ~University of Connecticut

“Not my president.” ~University of Connecticut

“He shot a Roman candle out of his a*s” ~University of Connecticut

“I love that movie, I did coke to it once” ~University of Connecticut

“Is it illegal to domesticate a squirrel?” ~University of Connecticut

“Bible Bob smokes mids” ~Bowling Green State University

“When I was living in North we heard some drunk guy screaming at someone in their dorm from the parking lot.  Best part of his drunken rant: ‘Come at me you f—-t-a*s peasant.’  Yes, he indeed used the word peasant; rich kid much?” ~University of Connecticut

“Isn’t doing a Zombie Run through a cemetery, like…offensive?” ….. “They’re dead…” ~University of Connecticut

“Dude, I’m so stoned right now, oh my God.” –Said as a professor was handing out a midterm at the University of Connecticut

“I wish I was, like, an iguana so I could lick my eyeball and get whatever this is out of my eye.” ~University of Connecticut

“’Saw a kid walk the wrong way around the seal, you know they’re gonna fail at least two classes and get an underaged next weekend’ (it’s customary to walk to the right of the seal on campus and if you go the wrong way, it’s bad luck).” ~Bowling Green State University

“So guys, what’s the hot gossip? What’s the 401K?” ~University of Connecticut

“I don’t get all this hype about Abbott’s eyebrows.” ~University of Connecticut

“Reese’s Puffs cereal is racist.” ~University of Connecticut

“If you had one year to eat a door, would you do it?” ~University of Connecticut