1. The bitter one who despises the holiday
This one HATES Valentine’s Day and lets everyone know it. She believes that it’s all a secret conspiracy by all the florists, or Hallmark or something. We’ll see if she still feels the same way after that hot guy from her accounting class asks her out.
Catchphrase: “Ugh”
2. The one who only needs three men in her life: Ben, Jerry, and Ryan Gosling
This girl indulges all of the “single on V-day” stereotypes and loves every second of it. Whether it’s ice cream or Chipotle, she knows that although people will sometimes abandon her, food never will. Just add a romantic comedy starring hot dudes to complete the perfect recipe.
Catchphrase: “I’d like to place an order for delivery.”
3. The one who drinks away the loneliness
This girl can be found dancing on top of the bar by 9 p.m., and making out with another single stranger by ten. She will either have a great night or end up drunk dialing an ex and crying. The amount of shots she takes and times she says she doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day is directly correlated with how much she actually does care.
Catchphrase: “Screw Valentine’s Day, let’s get wasted!”
4. The one who only needs her girlfriends
This girl has been talking to all her friends for weeks about how to have the perfect girls’ night. This night may or may not involve drinking wine, a potluck dinner, nail polish and seventeen issues of Cosmo. May turn into number 3 if the group decides to go out, meaning the night will feature a lot of hugging and “Oh my gosh girl I LOOOOVE you I’m so happy we’re friends!”
Catchphrase: “Chicks before d***ks!”
5. The one who doesn’t even know it’s Valentine’s Day
This girl has been single so long Valentine’s Day is completely irrelevant to her. She will go about her daily life and then wonder why it’s impossible to get a reservation for her and her friends.
Catchphrase: “Why is everyone carrying around flowers today?”
6. The Independent Women Who Don’t Need No Man
This one actually applies to all women, single or in a relationship, on any day of the year! You can be independent and awesome all the time (but it’s okay if you feel sad while you’re roommate is eating the chocolates her boyfriend got her). However you choose to celebrate, Happy Valentine’s Day collegiettes!