Over Christmas break, I ran to Walmart to pick up some supplies to make my boyfriend’s Christmas present, and I got much more than I bargained for. As I walked in, I passed a car with its windows rolled down. The boy—who I had never even seen before—yelled “sl*t!” at me as loud as he could and I sucked in my breath.
Yeah, usually I would just dismiss him as being immature and probably yelled “pig” back. But I didn’t. Something stopped me.
The word hit me like a ton of bricks. I guess I’ve been lucky and been never called that word before, but it immediately started eating at me. I looked at my outfit, searching to see if anything was see-through or if my makeup was too dark. I called my boyfriend, choking back tears. Looking back, it seems childish that I reacted or even given him the time of day, but most of all, I think it just proves that words like that hurt.
That boy didn’t know me, and who cares if my shirt was see-through or my shorts were too short? I’m still human and I don’t need to be labeled with that word.
But sadly, I hear that word much more when other women my age throw it around. We all seem quick to judge other girls nights, and I admit, I’ve done it too. But in reality, it’s none of my business.
I think a lot of times we underestimate how much a word like “sl*t”, “skank” or “whore” can be detrimental to another girl. College is hard—in fact there’s still the judgment we said we couldn’t wait get away from in high school. Girls still love to gossip and call each other mean names.
I’ve heard a lot of other girls talk about girls being “shackers” or getting drunk and sleeping with someone after a party. But I think what’s sad is we really don’t know. We don’t know if maybe that girl got left by her friends and had to sleep alone on a couch until she could sober up and leave the next morning. We don’t know if that “shacking” was actually sexual assault. We just don’t know, and we need to stop spreading rumors.
I think society has placed a lot of bindings upon women, particularly when it comes to their individual sexuality. If both parties are consenting to the sexual encounter, it really shouldn’t be a concern anymore.
Women are allowed to have sex and are allowed to be okay with their bodies and their own sexual identities. Just like every other human being is allowed the same thing. I’m sure you would like that same respect.
Instead of focusing on who women decide to sleep with, we should start focusing on promoting safe, sexual health and preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases or infections.
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