I have been in the industry for a few years now. Anyone who has served for a few years can tell you that there are a few things guests do that drive servers crazy. Some of these things seem like common sense, but you wouldn’t believe how often they happen to servers.
Being a host is hard. Don’t yell at them or demand to sit at a certain table, unless it is an ABSOLUTE necessity.
Chances are that the host is following a seating rotation to ensure that all servers get tables, and no one gets too many at once. This ensures the highest quality of service, and I can guarantee you that your food will taste the same, even if you don’t sit in a booth. Plus, if hosts don’t follow the rotation, servers and managers will get frustrated as well.
If there is a host at the front, DO NOT seat yourself.
If you see a host seating other people, please wait for them to come back and seat you. Restaurants have hosts for a reason, and it just makes everyone’s life more difficult, if you start seating yourself. The table you sat at may be reserved, may be dirty, or may not even have a server assigned to that section. Plus, if a host seats you, they will give you a menu, and you won’t have to sit there awkwardly, waiting for someone to notice that you snuck in.
If you do seat yourself, don’t get angry if you don’t get service immediately.
The section you are in may not have a server, and if you slide into the far corner of the restaurant, you may go unnoticed. Or, the opposite, a server may be super busy and unable to come stop by right away. A manager may also be trying to cut that server, and sitting in their section prevents that.
When a server greets you with “Hi, how are you today?” the correct answer is NEVER “Diet Coke”.
If anyone else in the world asked you that question, you wouldn’t answer with “Diet Coke”. If you do, I would like to hear you explain what diet coke feels like because I haven’t experienced that emotion before. You won’t get your diet coke any faster, despite the seconds you saved by ignoring the servers greeting. You wouldn’t appreciate your server walking up to your table and greeting you with “Drink Order,” so don’t do it to them. They are people too, and I ensure you that you will get way better service if you’re friendly to your server.
On that topic, if a server is talking to you – DON’T IGNORE THEM.
This one sounds like common sense, but it isn’t. Nothing is more awkward than approaching a table that is so immersed in their conversation or phones that they ignore you. A server’s job literally revolves around you; the least you can do is pay attention when they are at your table or politely tell them you want a few minutes to socialize before you make any decisions. We don’t mind if you want to sit around and catch up with your friends or wait for the other people that are joining you. If you don’t tell us, we will never know, and every table that comes in has different expectations. Communicating your intentions with your server will ensure that you get the best service and that it is tailored to your needs.
Don’t snap your fingers, catcall, whistle, or wave your almost empty drink around. Just don’t.
This happens more than you would think. It’s rude and outdated. Most servers don’t mind if you wave as they’re walking through their section; just be respectful. Again, servers are people too, and at the end of the day, they just want to be treated with respect.
NEVER touch their tray.
Carrying a tray with a bunch of drinks or plates is challenging. Some girls can rock a big tray no problem, and others may appear to be struggling. You’re NOT helping by removing items or putting them on the tray. We understand that you’re trying to help, but touching a server’s tray may throw off the weight and may spill stuff. Both you and your server don’t want to be covered in food or beverage for the remainder of the night.
You don’t need to yell “OPA!” if something breaks.
If something breaks without anyone yelling “OPA”, it is considered a win. It may have been funny the first time, but the phrase loses its glory when you hear it every shift. And yes, it happens that often. It’s not funny, and it draws unnecessary attention to an already embarrassed server. Some restaurants make servers pay for stuff if they break or spill it. Don’t add insult to injury, and just pretend it didn’t happen.
We’ve also heard every dad joke and bad pick up line.
No, you cannot order my number on the bill. The tab is not on me, and no, you don’t get a free refill on your beer.
Don’t touch your server.
Yes, we are laughing and making good conversation. No, that does not give you a right to touch me. You wouldn’t touch your banker or your corner store cashier. Don’t touch your server. I’m someone who is quite sensitive about my personal space, and it makes me uncomfortable when guests reach over and touch me. Some servers don’t mind it, but I would advise against it.
If you don’t tip us, we PAY to serve YOU.
This one needs to be said louder so that everyone can hear it. It’s no shocker that the service industry is dependent on tips. Most (if not all) restaurants have some sort of tip out system. That system usually takes your total sales and makes you tip out a portion of that. Some places go as high as 7-8% of your sales. If you don’t tip your server on a $100 bill and they have an 8% tip out, that means they must pay that $8.00 out of pocket, and that money comes out of their hourly wage. I agree that you shouldn’t tip your server if they give you terrible service, but they shouldn’t have to pay to be at work, especially if they do a good job. Dining in means that you are paying for the EXPERIENCE and the service, in addition to the food. A tip is your way of evaluating the service you receive. By not tipping, you are communicating to your server that you had a terrible experience, and you are punishing them for that. Make sure to budget for a tip when you plan for the meal.
If you must leave to go for a smoke or take a phone call, TELL your server or the hostess.
Servers and hostesses work together to clear dirty tables. If you leave your table without telling your server, they might think you dined and dashed. This may result in security being called and an unnecessary panic for nothing. Other workers may think that you left for the evening, and they may start to clear your drinks and food before your server notices that you slipped out. If you must leave to take a phone call and don’t have time to tell your server, just leave some stuff at the table like a jacket or ID or tell another staff member. Most places require that you leave something of value with them if you go out for a smoke. It’s not because YOU look suspicious or shady; it’s because other people were shady and left without paying. You can trust us with your ID, credit card, phone, or car keys. Trust me, I don’t want to explain to my manager that I lost your valuables.
Open till 11 does not mean walk in at 10:45.
Stores are a bit different because you can easily get in and out in 15 minutes if you know what you want. Like I mentioned above, dining in is an experience, and it will take more than 15 minutes. We are required to let you hang out an hour past closing, but I don’t know many servers that want to stay for an extra hour. If you feel the need to dine in late at night, check the hours beforehand. Coming in 45 minutes before close should give you enough time to get in and out without the staff having to wait too long after their shifts. A lot of servers work two jobs and must be at work early in the morning. Plus, the kitchen probably started their close, and food prep will take longer as they unpack everything and reopen their stations. If you feel like everyone is awkwardly staring at you and waiting for you to leave at the end of the night – they are. Servers start on their closing duties an hour before closing because they don’t want to stay late. Most places require servers to stay until their last table has left so that they can clean up. Be respectful of the server’s time, and think about if you can socialize somewhere that isn’t closed.
Don’t go up and order drinks from the bar.
The bartenders are busy. They don’t know which table you are sitting at. They have their own guests to look after and the entire restaurants drinks to make. Plus, they must ring it in under their tab and get the manager to transfer it after they look around the restaurant trying to figure out which table you’re at, which seat you’re sitting in, and which server is helping you out.
Don’t play musical chairs or stand around the table in clusters visiting.
Most of the time, servers assign guests seat numbers. These numbers correspond with how the food gets put on trays. A lot of restaurants have a unified ordering system that corresponds with how servers dish out food at tables. For example, if my seats were 1-4 and my restaurant ordered their seats clockwise, they would be placed on the tray in order, and if another server brings out the food, they will know that they need to dish out the food clockwise from the standard seat one. This ensures that servers can run each other’s food when it’s busy. If you play musical chairs and switch seats, it will be more of a hassle figuring out which plate goes where. If you stand in clusters around the table, it makes it hard to pass by or figure out which seat to put the drink you ordered under. Staying in your seat ensures your bill is accurate, and you get the best experience possible.
If you have a complaint about your food, don’t eat it.
Again, this should be self-explanatory, but it isn’t. I cannot count the number of times that I have had a guest eat most of their dish and complain. If you have such an issue with the food, big enough that you insist on not paying for it or complain afterwards, don’t eat it. We will gladly fix our mistake or prepare you a fresh dish. Just don’t take advantage of the situation and try to score a buy one get one free coupon. This goes for drinks too. Don’t complain about a drink and object when we try to take it away to grab you a new one. If you didn’t like it in the first place, you shouldn’t even want to keep it on your table.
If you’re ready to order, be ready to order.
Nothing is more frustrating when you’re busy than a table wasting your time. When you start ordering and then stop to discuss what everyone is having, your server is just standing there waiting. I can promise you that they are thinking about five things they have to do immediately after you leave. Yes, they still want to give you good service and their full attention. They just ask that you give them your full attention in return and respect their time. If you say that you’re ready to order, be ready to order.
Let your significant other order for themselves.
If you are old enough to be going to a restaurant as a couple, I assume that you are old enough to speak for yourself. I am glad that you are eager to inform me that your boyfriend is having the salmon with asparagus instead of bell peppers; I would just appreciate it if you let him tell me himself. That’s not because I’m into him or flirting with him, but it is because I want to ensure accuracy. This goes for anyone really, not just girlfriends. There are exceptions if you’re ordering for your kids, your grandma, someone in the bathroom, someone you’re sharing with, or they have trouble speaking. Basically, if they’re capable – let them.
All in all, this boils down to the basic principles we learned as kids. Be respectful of your servers and treat them how you would like to be treated. They are just trying to make you happy, and treating them as less than a person is unacceptable. Also, COMMUNICATE your needs and wants. A server will do their best to accommodate you and ensure you have the best experience possible. We are not mind readers. Every person has different expectations walking into a restaurant. Let us know what you want out of your experience, and we will do our best to tailor it to meet your needs.
Be understanding and friendly to your servers. Food gets sent out wrong all the time, and it is never on purpose. Explain to your server what is wrong with the food and what you would like done about it. Often, they will talk to a manager and get you a new one right away, something else, or take it off your bill. You make mistakes too, and having a salad come out with dressing on it instead of on the side is not something to scream at your server over. This goes back to communicating your needs. Your server is there to give you the best experience possible; you just need to tell us what we can do for you.
To conclude, most servers stay in the industry for a long time because they enjoy it. I personally love serving because it’s fun interacting with guests. I enjoy when I know a table has left happy because I did my job well. Do your best to ensure that you are doing your part. Like in life, people generally respond better when you’re nice to them. Servers are people too, and their job is literally catering to your needs. Don’t take advantage of that.