Last time, I spoke about how upperclassmen boys date freshman girls because they can get away with about as much effort as it takes to order Jimmy Johns. And, if it roots to boys being lazy or girls being easy. This week, I’m going to talk about why our generation “dates” the way we do, and if boys are really the root cause.
To begin, let’s go through a common series of events between how a typical boy and girl might start dating. So, a boy and a girl meet out one night. They exchange words and maybe even phone numbers. The next night they see each other out again but this time they go back together (foreplay optional, but sex not so much). Within the following few days, he may text her if he decides he wants to do it again. Lets say he does, and she does also, so they do. Weeks and months may go by before they decide to label what they are, but they still haven’t left the bedroom whenever they hangout. Their friends haven’t met each other, and despite the amount of time that has passed, there is really nothing to show for it besides the countless condom wrappers that have accumulated in the trashcan. Maybe another month passes before he actually takes her out, and buys her a meal other than ordering in breakfast.
But, based on how a relationship used to start, isn’t this sort of backwards?
Shouldn’t we get to know one another outside of the bedroom before we spend time in the bedroom? Not necessarily. Just because the order is different than it was for generations before, is it really worse? On the one hand, we use sex as a way to weed out those we aren’t interested in. This process used to be reserved for dates. But if we aren’t going on dates first, we rush into sex because sometimes it is the only thing that might lead to one. So In turn, sex has come to mean less, but, dates mean more. Dinner is reserved for those we really care about. For some, especially boys, this is great. The emotionally unavailable get to remain single for as long as possible, because until they are going on dates, no one can really say what they are doing is dating. “It’s just sex” has been a phrase of exponential usage.
So what’s better? I’m sure some are happier with this new order, including us kids on the student budget. But I cant help but wonder, will there ever be a time again where someone our age might get wined and dined before sex? Maybe just for the sake of meeting someone new, and hoping to fall for them.