Let’s cut to the chase. You are about to witness a standoff between Baby Animals and Chipotle. Are you familiar with the unadulterated rapture your heart experiences when you see a puppy crossing the quad? Do you get exceedingly overwhelmed at the mere prospect of visiting a Chipotle Mexican Grill in the near future? You’ve come to the right place.
I will be rating each baby animal/chipotle item on a scale of 1-5.
Let the games begin.
1.
Fact: This puppy is objectively adorable. Rating: 3
VS:
UUUUUUUUUUUGH. This is the way to my heart. Rating: 4
2.
Baby panda! Baby panda is crawling! And mama panda is following! Aaaaaaand – I’m broken. Rating: 4
VS:
Psh. Tacos. Nothing I haven’t seen before. But that cheeeeeese. Rating: 3
3.
All right, vaguely disinterested male model. Button your shirt. I’m sure this will come as a shock to you, but I don’t care about your quaffed hair or your off-puttingly perfect eyeliner. I only care about the charming tiger baby NUZZLING YOUR FACE, to whom you seemingly refuse to even give even the time of day. You’ve made me mad. This tiger is cute though. Rating: 3
VS:
My body was not ready. Rating: 4
4.
To quote Coldplay, “Nooooobody saiiiiid it was eeeeasy, but nobody said it would be this hard….” Rating: 4
VS:
I’m more emotionally invested in this photo than I care to admit. Rating: 4
5.
CALM DOWN EVERYBODY. THIS IS JUST A GIF OF TWO SEA OTTERS HOLDING HANDS TO PREVENT FROM DRIFTING APART. Rating: 5
VS:
AND THIS IS JUST A PICTURE OF A BURRITO THAT YET AGAIN SETS UNREALISTIC STANDARDS OF BEAUTY FOR WOMEN. WHY AM I SCREAMING? Rating: 5
Conclusion: