Part Two of my “I’m a Senior and feeling nostalgic so let me give you advice” series…
Since most will agree that Tulane lacks a dating scene, your friendships are your relationships. The time and effort you would put into a romantic partner should be put towards nurturing healthy and meaningful friendships. Just like with a significant other, your friendships should be carefully selected and ultimately, worth the effort. You shouldn’t date someone out of convenience and you shouldn’t be friends with someone out of convenience. Here’s some more unsolicited advice from a senior about friendships in college. Maybe it’s obvious, but it took me a while to figure it out.
1. Join clubs/organizations and/or get a job
I formed my most meaningful relationships during my time in student organizations.
I’ve formed my most meaningful friendships with people in the student organizations I’ve joined. Getting involved on campus and around the city is the best way to meet people with similar intersts and goals. If you join a club and aren’t feeling it, try something else until you’ve found your niche.
2. Have friends outside of your gang
A great part of Freshman (or any) year is realizing that you have a friend group. However, sometimes you need a break from studying, partying and Bruffing with the same people. Maintaining a few friends outside of your main circle is a great part of college friendships. Stay in touch with that person you bonded with in your Fundamentals of Acting class. Have someone that you always hit up to try a new restuarnt with. Have a buddy that you know will always be down to go see a lecture or event on campus.
3. You are allowed to switch friend groups
Just because you meet a group of people during orientation, on your Nola Experience, or while living on the same floor, doesn’t mean you have to be friends with them for the next four years. If you feel yourself outgrowing the group you’ve been hanging with, that’s ok. As you and your interests evolve your friend group might also. Make an effort to reach out to the people you’ve met in your clubs or classes and nurture those relationships that seem to feel more natural.
4. Stop hanging out with people you don’t like
If you have been hanging out with someone and you realize that they get on your nerves, don’t make you feel good or keep letting you down in some way, then stop hanging out with them. It isn’t your job to babysit someone that consistently gets wasted and calls you to take care of them, to listen to someone talk about their boyfriend problems for the millionth hour, or to keep getting blown off by someone once their better plans come through. For whatever the reason, if a person isn’t worth your time, just like in a relationship, you can break off the friendship and move on.
Get on your bikes, the streetcar, or in a cab and experience the city with your friends. Check out local newspapers and magazines for information on events going on around the city. There are tons of ways to have fun outside of hanging out in dorms or at the Boot, both of which can get very old. Go to a Saints game, visit an art market, walk around a museum, go to the movies. Again, just like with a boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes a night of getting dolled up and going out somewhere special with your friends is something you’ll remember for years to come.