A few weeks ago, one of my girlfriends was on the T on her way to downtown Boston. As she was changing lines at Park Street, a well-dressed, middle-aged man approached her and asked her for directions. Being a well-mannered young lady, she gladly assisted him. He thanked her, and gave her his business card.
Much to her surprise, the man was the Dean of Admissions at a prestigious university. Thinking that this man might be a helpful academic networking contact in the future, my friend sent him an e-mail, thanking him for sharing his contact information with her, and wishing him a good time in Boston.
Much to her surprise, the dean immediately replied with a five-paragraph-long e-mail, which included several inappropriate comments. First, he remarked that she had a lovely name. Perhaps this was intended as a friendly comment, but after reading the parts of the e-mail in which he apologized for staring at her in the T – which my friend had not noticed – and complemented her dimples, the “creep alert” begins going off full-blast.
The dean did ask my friend whether she was a graduate student, but does his misinterpretation of her age make his flirting any more appropriate? I think not. One might go on to argue that the dean could have mistaken my friend’s courteous smile and willingness to help for flirtation. The fact remains, however, that he should neither have made this assumption, nor should he have responded to her e-mail in this way. What makes this situation even more disturbing is his position as an academic authority, which raises the question of whether he has preyed on other female students in the past.
My friend contemplated taking action against this individual, because she was worried that he may have approached girls at his own institution in a similar manner. But without any real proof, there was not much that she could do. Thus, I am taking this opportunity to share her story and raise awareness among our readers. Some men are more than eager to grasp any opportunity to get close to young girls… totes inapprop! So remember to always use your judgment, be prudent, and speak up if you feel uncomfortable.