To or not to, that is the question on the minds of many single and dating young college women. Gone are the days when you made out with your crush behind the gum-filled bleachers of your high school’s gym. No longer are you checking yes, no, or maybe on a love letter the middle school geek asked his friend to ask your friend to finally give to you during lunch. And thank God, boys are not punching, slapping, kicking and spitting on you like they did annoyingly in elementary school. You are amongst a new breed of young women, not yet ready to settle down, but possibly ready to fall in love. You are I and I am you. I am young, sexy, and a very single Collegiette TM ready to answer those questions you were too embarrassed to ask and tell a few awkward stories while I do. Oh, and I will be also consulting the experts from time to time.
So, lets get back to the question at hand. To or not to? College, for me, has been a time of frequent “dates”, rare heartbreaks, and just plain old confusion. Because I am so willing to share my relationship drama with complete strangers, they often times feel comfortable enough to reveal their own problems and seek advice. The question I would like to focus on now is one that college women have been asking for years, “Should I have sex with him?” I consider myself an and open-minded and pretty liberal woman, but instead of saying “Just go for it,” here are a few questions I like to ask first.
1. How well do you know him?
Just because you’ve created a fantasy friendship, relationship, and wedding to your college crush doesn’t mean you actually know him in real life. Take the time to get to know him, not the idea you have of him. This might take three months or three years, but the longer you hold out the more confident you’ll be when that “time” comes.
2. Have you taken the necessary precautions?
Whether you are okay with casual sex or you want to be exclusive, make sure you talk through these things to avoid the emotional and physical damage unhealthy relationships may cause. You should also use condoms and birth control, and get tested for STDs every 3-6 months. Just because you’re only having sex with him, doesn’t mean he is only having sex with you.
3. Would you regret waking up to him?
If you are not sure if you are ready to take your relationship to the next level with this special or not-so-special someone, then this is an important question you might want to ask yourself.
4. Are you ready for the possible consequences that may follow?
Sex can be beautiful, but it can also be dangerous. Are you ready to accept that the outcome of such a union might leave you heartbroken? Even further, are you ready to ask your partner tough questions about STDs, birth control, condoms, or the consequences from a lack thereof? If you are comfortable asking yourself and your partner these questions, then at least you can call yourself responsible for your own emotional and physical well-being.
5. Who are you really doing this for?
Are you doing this to please him, keep him, or make him want you more? This is a dangerous place to find yourself in when it comes to sex. Make sure you are doing this for the right reasons: you, and not for anyone else, because he may not always stick around after the deed is done.
These are often tough and difficult questions to ask yourself when it comes to sex. Sex is fun, pleasurable, and exciting when you’re sure that you like the person you are doing “it” with. I just want that moment to be perfect, or as perfect as you can make it. And, before you jump into such a feat, you might want to answer these questions now, rather than face more difficult decisions later.