We all love to experiment with fashion and follow Hollywood’s hottest trends, but at some point a line needs to be drawn and a serious conversation needs to happen about what makes sense and what doesn’t. So collegiettes, take a seat and take good notes, because this will be on your midterm: if any of these fashion offenses are seen on the 40 acres this fall, expect a ticket from the fashion police.
1.) Anchors
These unsightly pests came out of nowhere and invaded the fashion scene, and now every Forever 21 has them plastered all over their merchandise. Anchor skinny jeans, anchor necklaces, even anchor tattoos… why? No really, why? An anchor is a large metal object used to keep a ship in place in the water, because it is so heavy that it functions to render the ship immobile. The fact that these rusty maritime gadgets have become a fashion statement is worrisome, so, please, before the whole country gets seasick: move on to the next trend.
2.) “Hipster” Glasses
Do you have a legitimate visual deficit correctable by optic lenses? If your answer to this is no, slowly repeat your new mantra with me: I do not need to wear glasses. This may be difficult for those who thrive on the delusion that wearing large glasses with black square frames makes them a hipster, so if you are lost in this fantasy yourself, let this be your official intervention: no more. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to wear glasses when you hit your 40s and buy your first pair of reading glasses… and find your first gray hair.
3.) Leggings as Pants
There are a variety of garments you may choose to wear to accompany a t-shirt, ranging from jeans to khakis to various types of skirts. Leggings are not one of them. Leggings are used to accessorize other clothing items, like a dress or tunic, and should never be worn as a stand-alone replacement for pants. Any questions so far?
4.) Peplum Dresses
I’ll admit, when I first started seeing sprinklings of peplum here and there on Pinterest, I was intrigued and repinned one. Now, it’s everywhere and it has long lost its charm. For most women, adding an Elizabethan collar of fabric ruffles around the waist is not very flattering. Why ruin the shape of an otherwise perfectly good dress? Because Kim Kardashian does it? Next.
5.) Short Suits
We saved the worst for last. Whoever started this disgraceful trend has soiled the concept of a professional business suit. Some people get so swept away in their goal to be “trendy” that they don’t take a second to glance in the mirror and marvel at how ridiculous they look, but that is no excuse for wearing shorts with a matching blazer. You can’t wear both. Make up your mind. Where are you going: to the mall to hit up cute boys, or for a job interview at Goldman Sach’s? If you’re wearing that, don’t expect success with either.
I hope you took good notes, because these are some serious offenses. What are some other fashion trends you’ve seen on campus this semester that make you cringe?