When people think of college, the dreadful thought of “What kind of roommate am I going to have?” usually pops up about two seconds after the whole, “Oh my god, I’m going to college and becoming an adult” thought process. The way I see it, there are three different types of roommates, so I ordered them from worst to best.
1. The awful, “you should leave while you still can” roommate
This is the roommate most people think they’re going to get, but the chances of getting this type of roommate are very slim. However, just because the chances are slim, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. This type of roommate can present themselves in different ways. For instance, right off the bat they can be rude and mean, letting you know instantly that they are “no bueno” or not a good fit for you. Another presentation of this roommate might be one who acts like a friend but shows their true colors over the course of the year. The latter is worse, trust me.
With this type of roommate, you should still push yourself to be in your room and be comfortable with inviting friends over without feeling awkward or guilty because it’s still your room. Of course, still get the “OK” if you’re planning on bringing people over but if they always say ‘no’ without reason, remind them that it’s your room too. If this still doesn’t work or different problems arise, I suggest talking to your RA or having a meeting with your roommate and your room advisor. Your RA, wants to help, that’s their job. Coming from the experience of working out problems with floor mates and friends with your RA, their help works. If this still doesn’t work out and you feel uncomfortable in your own living space…
I suggest moving out either when the semester ends or in the middle of the semester. You can find more information here.
2. The amicable, “you live your life, I live mine” roommate
This is the most common roommate, luckily and unfortunately. While most would probably like to have a roommate they could be close friends with, remind yourself that this relationship is still a positive one and it could be way, way, worse.
The relationship is still amicable, so it won’t be weird waving on your way to class and making smalltalk in your room.
You won’t exactly be friends with your roommates, but you let them do their thing and they let you do your thing. However, the benefit of this situation is that it can push you out of your boundaries and get you to meet new people instead of just staying comfortable with your roommates.
3. The awesome, “this person is my friend soulmate” roommate
This is, unfortunately, the least common roommate. You might click from the very start or get closer as the year progress but regardless if you have this roommate, be thankful because they don’t come around often. I’m lucky enough to be in this situation because it’s beautiful.
Other friends in our friend group might not understand the banter or the backwards endearing phrases we throw at each other, but we do, and it’s great.
One thing to look out for though, is refraining from having too close of a connection if front of your other friends. While it’s nice to have your own inside jokes, inside jokes are just that, they’re inside and exclude everyone else. When in group situations, be mindful of your other friends.
Because you guys will be like:
And they’ll be like:
Regardless of the roommate you’re given, you need to remind yourself that it is your room too. You both have the right to speak your mind when something you don’t like is happening and you both have the right to bring friends over (you should always ask first and don’t go too crazy by inviting everyone over everyday).
Living with someone else who isn’t family is new for a lot of people. It’s a big change and it might take a while to create a good system between you and your roommate. You don’t have to be best friends; just be respectful and ask that they do the same.