I’ll set the scene.
Your phone rings. There it lies. A message on its screen from a very, very unsuspected suitor – one you haven’t heard from since the last snowfall to be exact. “Hey stranger! How ya been?” it reads. Do your eyes deceive you? Does he have the right number? Is he plastered right now?
Sure, ghosts show up around Halloween, but during the winter holidays? Unheard of.
You quickly wonder… what was it that made him text you? Did he smell your Black Opium walking through the Macy’s perfume section while Christmas shopping for his mom (… what a nice lady, by the way, you think.) Sidetracked. Focus. Back to the end goal here: Why are you hearing from him?
And then you remember: It’s cuffing season.
Cuffing season is the common phenomena which addresses the desire to hop into a relationship around the holidays. People begin to settle down exclusively with one person – or become “cuffed” to them because of the things that the winter months bring along with them. No one really knows what causes the universal wish for a significant other, but it’s definitely seasonal.
Don’t believe me? Remember summer months, in a car full of your closest girls, blasting Rihanna out its rolled-down windows and swearing that you’d never, ever serve a man? That’s the same girl that just replied, “I’m watching Home Alone. And I’m home alone,” after his wyd text.
Alright. Maybe that’s just me because I’m a weak bish. But, really, are you open to cuffing season? Are you going to wrap up with someone or are you going to not make eye contact until the spring? Or are you indifferent and can’t decide? Well, then I’m here to help you out. Here are the pros and cons of cuffing season.
The Pros:
You have a date to holiday parties.
Sure, that Tory Burch clutch might’ve seemed like the perfect statement item for that New Year’s gathering at the time. But you know what would look even better at your side? Him. Now talk about an accessory.
The opportunity to be romantic.
Local tree lighting/light show? You know whose car you’ll be passenger side in to go see it. And when you come across mistletoe, this time, you won’t need to roll your eyes as you usually would.
You get to use the word boyfriend again.
It sounds foreign on your tongue. When was the last time you said it? Oh yeah. When you were complaining to your mom last Christmas that you didn’t have one.
The Cons:
It sometimes creates false intimacy.
If you’re quick to jump into a relationship because it’s “in-season,” remember that Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake’s 2001 all-denim look was “in-season” once as well. What did Audrey Hepburn say? “Trendy is the last phase before tacky”? Same applies to relationship fads.
It evokes loneliness.
Remember that painful feeling of standing alone at your eighth grade formal while a slow song came on? Remember aching for someone to ask you to dance? It’s not as hyped up as it seems. Giving your heart to someone gives them the power to break it. And that aches arguably worse.
You have to buy gifts for them
And is “Tim”, the boy you met three weeks ago at your friend of a friend’s birthday pre-game, really worth a twenty five dollar gift card to Dick’s Sporting Goods? C’mon.
But remember, cuffed or uncuffed, the holiday season will pass and the chains will fall off around the same time as the extra layers.