Hi, Owls! My name is Logan Beck and I am a senior, journalism major at Temple University. As a senior in college, I’d like to think I’ve seen it all. That being said, I am using my experiences to help other girls through a good old fashioned advice column.
I know what you’re thinking…an advice column? Is this a 1960s school newspaper? Am I going to hand out my column in a school cafeteria? No, and no. On the contrary. In my short 21 years of life, all of which have been spent as a female, I’ve learned that we all often have the same sort of issues in our lives, whether it comes to relationships (romantic or otherwise), love, work, school, and more. In a world that is constantly pinning women against each other, I’d like to remind everyone that we’re all in this together (*cute High School Musical song*). My goal for this column is to answer both relatable and unique questions in order to be a source of comfort for college women, while offering advice on how to navigate the mysterious, often sticky landscape of college and post graduation life.
So here’s how it’s going to work…
Each week, I’ll answer a few questions submitted by you, our readers, to bring you a diverse, weekly dose of ~knowledge~ and wisdom. I will be accepting questions 24/7 via Survey Monkey, and anonymity is my number one goal. The Lo Down is a safe place.
So, without further ado, I give you, The Lo Down.
Question: Hi Logan. First of all, I’m really glad you don’t judge. So here’s my dilemma – I’ve been talking to this guy for a few weeks and he’s pretty cool, it seems like things could go somewhere but I’m trying to just take it one step at a time! But. He’s a horrible texter. Conversationally, he’s fine. But the boy doesn’t know the difference between “to” and “too,” your/you’re, their/there/they’re, etc. and it drives me ABSOLUTELY insane. Is there a cute way to call him out on this without sounding like his mom/English teacher? He can like spell other things so I’m not sure where the mental block is here. Maybe a stroke? But actually, maybe? Am I being insensitive now? Please respond when you can because, as an awful person, I clearly need all the help I can get. Sincerely, A Shrew.
Lo: Hi! First of all, you are not a shrew. Second of all, it’s great that you’re taking things one step at a time, because as Shakespeare once said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” Clearly, as a literature nerd, grammar is personally important to me and it is obviously important to you as well. While his inability to differentiate “your” and “you’re” may be frustrating, it’s possible that his weakness in grammar signifies a strength in other disciplines, for example math and science. As long as you can continue to hold an intriguing conversation with him, I don’t think it should be too much of a deal breaker. The difficult thing about texting is that we don’t always text the way we would speak, or in this case, write an English paper. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to bring up his spelling in a playful, flirty way, without hurting his feelings. Who knows, maybe you could teach him a few things!
Question: Is it common for girls to watch porn? I feel like I have friends on both sides of the spectrum who do regularly and others I that I don’t think do. I’ve always been unsure if it’s a common thing or not for women
Lo: Hi! I could probably spend days on this topic, but I’m going to spare you the agony of me droning on for hours and sum it up in a few simple words: You can do whatever you want and your sexuality is yours to own. Don’t ever let anyone, including another woman, shame you for your sexuality, sexual preferences, or exploration. Porn is something that has been deemed “taboo” for women to talk about which I think is absolutely ridiculous. For some reason, it is assumed that all guys watch porn, yet it’s still not a comfortable conversation for girls to have. If you don’t want to watch porn, you certainly don’t have to. No one is going to chain you to a chair and force you to make a Brazzers account. However, a Pew research study states that nearly 57 percent of porn watchers are millennials aged 18-24. Statistics on women watching porn are particularly difficult to find, especially since women are still embarrassed/ashamed to admit they watch/enjoy watching porn. The fact of the matter is, millennials are watching porn, which means chances are more of your female friends are watching it than you realize. To answer your question, it is absolutely not “weird” or *gasp* “slutty” to watch porn. You do you, girlfriend.
Quesiton: How do you balance your life with school and work and a relationship? Like how do you find time for it all?
Lo: Lots of coffee and very little sleep! I’m only partially kidding. Time management is something I’ve personally had a lot of experience with, and I think it’s an extremely important skill to learn and ultimately master. I truly believe that you will never be as busy as you are in college, because balancing a full course load with a job, internship, extracurriculars, and a social life is not easy, but it IS possible. Everyone has different ways of balancing work and play, but I personally suggest keeping a detailed planner, but the key to balancing anything is sacrifice. I know that may not be what you want to hear, but you often need to sacrifice going out on weekends sometimes to get everything done. Trust me, the end game is absolutely worth it. Keep a list of deadlines on hand and prioritize what you need to get done first, and what can wait. I firmly believe that you will always make time for the things that are important to you. I am very lucky to be in a relationship with someone that embraces my busy schedule, has one of his own, and understands what it’s like to operate the way I do. I’ve never thought that anyone can be “too busy” for a relationship. If you love someone, you always find the time to see them.
XOXO,
Lo
Interested in asking a question? Post your question to my Survey Monkey! Remember, all questions are anonymous! https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6QK6QQW