Has your last hookup/casual hang out/ romantic thing not called back? Or do you need some help on how to get him to become any of the previously stated titles? Unfortunately, I don’t have the answers on how to turn your crush into your Valentine, but I’ll give you the inside scoop on how not to do it:
(Don’t)
1. Tell him how you can’t wait to meet his mother, making sure to use her name (ie: Kathy, Elizabeth, Donna). Especially if he hasn’t told you it. In fact, learn his entire family tree on the first date. Study that sh*t like it’s an exam for that class you’re failing.
2. Leave your wallet purposely at his apartment so he’s forced to see you again after a drunken one night stand.
3. Play-fight with him! But, to establish dominance, literally knock him out. Who’s the big guy now?
4. If he hasn’t called back, try emailing him! If he doesn’t answer emails, skip to DMing on various social media platforms including, but def not limited to: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Skype, LinkedIn, or Venmo.
5. Hook up with his best friend/older brother/distant cousin to make him jealous. Refer back to the “family tree” for the most suitable prospects.
6. Hand him your camera and suggest that he take “plandids” of you whilst on the streets.
7. If he wants to have a night with his “buddies” shotgun your Lime-A-Rita to and tell him that you’re one of the boys.
8. No matter the situation, play dumb. Guys love idiots.
9. Drive down his street and, when you see him walk out of his house, pull up to the cub and say how it’s so “ironic” that you two would “run into each other.”
Or if none of these work:
10. DROP HIM.
As Valentine’s Day approaches things can get lonely. Very lonely. But I’m here to remind you:
You shouldn’t have to make him want you. He should just want you.
The right man will text you back regardless of your punctuation use. The right man will make the effort to be with you. The right man will know that pieces of you that matter – your drive, your empathy, your intellect – are pieces that could be showcased to the man standing next to him if he lets you go.
This Valentine’s Day, when you’re about to take one of those quizzes that answer the question that begs to know why you’re single, put it back on the shelf. Remember that you’re single because you haven’t met your person. We shouldn’t be validating our worth judged by whether or not we have a man standing by our sides.
So many girls go to extreme lengths just to get a guy’s attention. And honestly? That insecurity can drive us into ridiculous thinking that is almost as crazy sounding as numbers one through nine.
Don’t play by those rules. Be you instead.You’re valid standing alone.