Photo Credit: kellyandbecca.com
Kelly Addington and Becca Tiede, best friends on a journey to end sexual violence by sharing their story, joined the TCNJ community Wednesday night to shed light on sexual assault, sexual empowerment and consent on campus. The two provided a thought-provoking, educational and very candid presentation that enlightened us in the ways that we can all become the solution of a very real and scary epidemic. The two were both simultaneously comical and lighthearted when appropriate, and sensitive and subtle when needed be. Let’s talk about “IT,” is a story about college, lifelong friends, and sex but it is also a story about rape.
We all know the severity of the statistics regarding sexual assault. It is time to have conversations to change the light in which we view it in. It is time to be sexually empowered by taking responsibility for our choices and learn that we are entitled to desire whatever we want, without feeling guilty or in need of justification. When we can change the stigmas around the way we look and talk about sexual situations, we can change the way we feel about them. So, let’s talk about “IT!”
One of the biggest ideas of the night was that the only way to not create a culture that is damaging to survivors is to transform rape culture to a culture of consent. We have to get rid of the gray matter – because just as Kelly and Becca drove home, in consent, it is either yes or no, black or white. We have to learn how to feel comfortable talking about “it” and we have to change the “paradigm” so we can avoid sexual assault.
While prevention was a huge part of the “talk,” a big portion was dedicated to support – the kind of support that Becca has given Kelly throughout this journey, and the kind of support we can lend to our peers. The notion of letting your friend or loved one know that you believe them and that it is not their fault are the key components in starting this conversation. And although the victim did not have a choice in the way the situation has played out, they do have a choice in regards to the way they respond to it – and it is your responsibility to help make sure that it is a choice of willingness to “talk about IT” and a desire to move forward.
Always remember to do your part as a member of your community and as a member of humanity – don’t be afraid to reach out for help, be the strength and support your loved ones need and understand that you are never alone. We all have the power to leave our communities better than we found them, so let’s work to protect one another.
To be a part of the conversation, visit Kelly and Becca’s website at http://kellyandbecca.com.