I’m a self-proclaimed introvert. I don’t need excitement in my life to be whole, gain energy or anything like that. I don’t crave company (usually). I am content to be alone for extended periods of time if necessary. In fact, I’m doing it right now. This summer break, I’ve discovered I can go a full two weeks without having (or desiring) to leave the house. (More than two weeks and I start getting excited just to go to Costco for groceries.)
Before I sound too ‘anti-social,’ I’ll put it out there: I do have friends. Kevin Yang provides a disclaimer in his slam performance of “How to Love Your Introvert:” “To set the record straight, I do not hate people. But I do get pretty damn tired of them sometimes.” That’s me. I like people, but I don’t have a constant desire to be surrounded by them. I have friends now and I had friends when I first started embracing my introversion.
Entering TCNJ my freshman year was an introduction into independence with living arrangements, academic matters and financial planning. But it was also an introduction into independence in simply doing things alone. I went out to buy meal equiv at the Stud and came back to my room to eat. I went for walks at night. I claimed a couch for myself in the lounge to study. I take advantage of the fact that I can be alone and no one thinks anything of it. It’s not like high school where being alone equated to having no friends. I simply have stuff to do and I don’t need anyone else around to do it.
Admittedly, I wasn’t just so busy that I couldn’t afford to have others around me lest they interfere with my work. When I was alone, I did do homework and study. But on more than one occasion, I could also have been found sitting in my pajamas, eating popcorn, watching Whose Line is it Anyway? and scrolling through Tumblr.
I don’t feel as though I was wasting time (AKA time I could have been spending with other people). It wasn’t ‘alone time’ or even ‘me time.’ It wasn’t an escape from others or shutting myself up and away from the world. I just felt it was time I was doing things I enjoyed and I happened to be alone. Not that, otherwise, I was doing things I didn’t enjoy. I was just content with being by myself.
My sophomore year I spent less time alone because I got a boyfriend. But once spring semester was over, I went straight back into being alone during the summer in the comfort of my own home. Most people spend this time working or reuniting with hometown friends. I don’t have any hometown friends. I didn’t keep in contact with them. It wasn’t that I secretly hated them during our entire friendships or we all grew apart with the distance. I simply had no active desire to continue our friendships. I also live decent distances away from my TCNJ friends. (And there’s that same lack of active desire to hang out too.)
So since May 9th, I’d been spending most days of the week at home, unless going out with family or the boyfriend. I eat, sleep, read, work out, clean the house and play Assassin’s Creed. That’s really all I need. I do it all alone and I have no problem with that. I won’t be pretentious and claim I don’t ‘need’ to go out with friends every day to have fun. But that’s pretty much how it is. The introvert in me is content with this lonely or pretentious lifestyle, whichever you prefer.
I don’t know any other people who prefer the ‘lonely’ lifestyle. Most of my friends go out a lot; to eat, study, work out, play video games or just not be alone. But I’ve enjoyed my periods of solitude and I think everyone could benefit from learning how to be alone and not just coping with being left alone.