February 25, 2017 11:28pm
I wore your shirt today. It still smelled like you, and that only made it harder. I missed you a little extra. I actually feared waking up but it was a beautiful day, one we hadn’t had in a while. The sun only shone rays of profound sorrow, it fed my spirit. Through my eyes, everything seemed unknown. It seemed like if I was stuck in time, absently lost in my emotions as everyone else around went about to their normality. I cursed at the universe for screwing up the timing, for taking away the million minutes I could of had with you. Today felt like the day I last saw you, the day that I continue to mourn. My every living atom felt dead. All my energy was dead weight, as gravity’s act pulled me deeper to the ground, almost becoming one. I dreaded my existence. I dreaded the possibility of living the reality of it. I questioned the odds of being alive at that precise moment. Can I be real if I’m numb to the world? I was breathing, but not for necessity, it was more of an unwanted routine. You know, my heart saddens a little more with every past, present and future thought without you. My mind centers around the unsaid, the undone and the remainder of what’s left of time. I wonder how many more days like these do I have to endure living within my own memories until your smile returns.
I missed you a little extra today.