Spring Break Brad enjoys long walks on the beach and short walks to the pool bar. He loves when ladies speak their mind as long as their mind is blank. Brad is a friend to all animals, especially the goat mascot from his rival frat. After a vigorous semester of downing natty light and icing the new PC, Brad is ready to take a break and relax on the sunny beaches of wherever his dad agreed to in order to keep him out of the house.
Major: Killing it with the ladies. Heh heh, sick nasty. Just playing, I’m in Whitman.
Grade: A, baby. Nahhhh, Class of 2017! What’s up, what’s UP!?
What’s your favorite spot on campus? The house, man! Or Lucy’s. Or Chuck’s. All are my homes away from home.
What are you looking forward to most this Spring Break? Got to give it up for the sun, always being there and shining on. Can’t wait to see my main man [the sun] this week. Saw him a bit on the Quad the other day, but bruh’s gotta come out more often.
How many pairs of Chubbies do you own? Are we talking summer Chubbies or fall Chubbies? Or both? Oh, wow, yeah, I dunno. Let’s just say if Chubbies were made of pizza, the third world would be fatter than Kim K’s boo-tay. Chyeahhhh.
Who would you bring to Date Night if you had your pick of anyone throughout history? Whoa, such beauty my mind cannot beseech. I guess I would have to go with Betty White before she got old or the entire Dallas Cowboys cheerleading team circa 1970. Betty’s wild, though. I’d like to know Ms. White when she was Ms. Blonde. Hahahhahahha, you know what I’m sayin’? *slaps five* …Because she’s old now. And used to be blonde….. hahahah chyeahhhh. *slaps another five*
Who are you voting for in the coming months? Oh, I don’t follow American Idol anymore.
What’s your Spring Break playlist? I’M SAUCIN’ I’M SAUCIN’ I’M SAUCIN’ ON YOUUU. Yeah, that’s the jam. Some Fetty, some Kanye, some Future. YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY SHELL PHONE. Heeeeehhhhhhh, sick nasty tight. And Hamilton. Lin-Manuel Miranda is actually an ingenius creative talent……. YOU USED TO, YOU USED TO.
At this moment in time, Spring Break Brad spotted an unclaimed funnel, adjusted his snapback and ran into the distance leaving a trail of condoms and Axe smog.
Stay safe this Spring Break and avoid falling victim to the drunken wiles of Spring Break Brad types across the nation. Stay classy, Syracuse.