You show up to the restaurant ready for good food and good conversation, dressed to the nines. It’s your first date with that guy you’ve been talking to and you really hope it’ll be promising. Going in with nothing but the best of intentions and high spirits, you sit down with your date and begin to talk. But wait… what’s happening… your date is not who you expected them to be. You soon find yourself coming up with excuses to leave as soon as you possibly can because this is the doomsday date and you are spending it with the terrible, the horrible, the no good, ill-mannered, pretentious, and perhaps even prejudiced person.
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Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure we have all been on at least one of these dates. Whether it was at a restaurant, a baseball game, or even at the park, the doomsday date is like a cold and can strike at any moment. Know the signs, and better yet, be better prepared for how to prevent yourself from becoming the cause.
DON’T: Pick your nose or bite your nails, and DEFINITELY DON’T YELL IN AN INDOOR SPACE.
First date means first memorable impression. If you show that you have no regard for sanitation and never really listened when your parents tried to teach you manners, you’ll most likely get the boot. You can’t start flicking boogers and speaking as if you’re at a sporting event if you’re in a museum or a restaurant. It’s impolite, rude, and downright disgusting.
DO: Bathe, brush your teeth and fix your hair before and come dressed appropriately for the date.
It all goes back to the whole “dress the way you’d like to be treated”. You really should try to dress for success every day. You never know whom you’re going to meet.
DON’T: Talk about marriage and your plans for your relationship in the future.
Especially if this is the first time you are really getting to know someone, you don’t want to freak them out by telling them the kind of future you expect to have with them should they proceed with seeing you. Some people don’t even know what they want to do with their careers, let alone their entire future.
DO: Talk about hobbies (and your current occupation if you feel comfortable enough).
The first date is the time to get to know each other, starting from the basics. Sharing your hobbies or career goals can help form connections and show similar interests. Bonding is key because it at least opens the door to friendship, which is the building block of anything more serious.
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DON’T: Talk on your phone, text, scroll through social media, or try to go on multiple dates in ONE DAY.
By agreeing to go on a date with someone, you’ve agreed to give your time. If your date is speaking and you’re texting, you’re obviously not paying attention. If you keep leaving to be on your phone, you’re obviously too busy for a date. And if you are asked out by two people on the same day, don’t get greedy and agree to a date with both people.
A: That means you’re not serious about either of those dates.
B: You’re not being fair to the time those people are spending trying to plan a good date.
C: It’s selfish.
DO: Give your date your attention.
Whether you are the one who asked or the one who said yes to the date, make sure you take the time to actually listen to what they have to say. Don’t talk over each other. You want to try to find something interesting, not talk about yourself the whole time. Some people may regard that as being narcissistic. Keep the one mic, open mic policy. This means you listen, wait for them to finish, respond when appropriate and repeat.
DON’T: Make your date pay for themselves AND DO NOT make them pay for YOU.
The general consensus behind a DATE is that you are treating the other person. You asked THEM out, after all. They didn’t have to show up. By asking someone out on a date, it means you’re responsible for all expenses. If you can’t afford a fancy first date, THEN DON’T OFFER ONE! There are plenty of inexpensive and even free first date options ranging from picnics to museums, or even beach trips. No one said your first date had to make you go bankrupt. If you find yourself in a situation where your date keeps asking for something that you can’t afford, offer a less expensive alternative or rethink your plans for a second date. Some people won’t mind paying for themselves, but not everyone. Unless your date absolutely insists on paying for their share, assume nothing.
*NOTE: Your date owes you ABSOLUTELY NOTHING by you paying for them. You were given their time of day, which is all that is important if you are really interested in that person.
DO: Make the experience as memorable as you can.
First dates should be fun and exciting, not boring. If you can get your date to laugh and smile through it all, you’ve done right. But if your date is currently checking the time and looking for a way out, chances are you’ve committed a Doomsday Date.
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