The thought of graduation approaching has been haunting you for weeks or even months now. When do I start applying for jobs? How many do I apply for? Where do I want to live? What if I don’t find a job right away? Do I even know what career path I want to be heading down? I’m sure all of these questions have been floating through your head. But besides all of that business, the equally as frightening question about the relationship you’re in has been lingering there too. “Should we stay together or break up after graduation?”
This is far from a simple question with an easy answer. But we do want to help by suggesting a few focus areas you should consider before making your decision.
Length of the Relationship
Not that this should be a deal breaker, but if you have recently started dating and aren’t sure where things are headed, then you may not want to be adjusting your life plan for this person.
Opinions of Family and Friends
If everyone is telling you it’s wrong, it probably is. Sure your relationship should always come down to how you two feel about each other, and if you believe you are in the right situation. But at this point in your life, the focus should be on yourself and your life goals, you may not want to risk or change a lot for someone who everyone thinks is wrong for you.
Commitment Level
Now this should be an easy question with an easy answer. How committed are you to each other? If you know you still want to experience the single, no strings attached, no one to answer to, phase of your life; DO IT WHILE YOU CAN.
Location
No one knows you better than you know yourself. And if you don’t think you can handle a long distance relationship (whether it be due to moving back home, going to grad school in different places, or job opportunities in different places) then you should probably admit it to yourself before it becomes more difficult and painful to end.
Priorities
Sure, everyone has different priorities, and that’s fine. But these should be laid out on the table IMMEDIATELY. If you know your career, family, lust for travel, or whatever it may be is going to be first in your life right now, you need to make that clear. Make sure you are on the same page with how important (or not so important) this relationship is to both of you at this point in your life.
Life Plans and Timeline
Everyone leaves college with different plans. Some people don’t know where they will be with each day to come and others already have their five and ten year plans in place. Make it known that you do (or do not) see this person as a part of your plan. Make your significant other aware of what you want in your near future, and listen to what they want as well. If your plans can work out with the two of you still together that is GREAT. But if your lives are headed in completely different directions, where one of you will always be holding the other back, and you’ll be in a constant state of sacrifice, then that’s something you should deal with sooner rather than later.