So the guy down the hall finally asks you out after a couple weeks of small chat in the elevators. You feel excited, flattered, and extremely nervous. College is much different than high school, where if someone asked you on a date, you already knew everything about that person from lunch table gossip alone. In college, you have no idea what to expect from this guy. What does he like? What kind of people does he hang out with? Does he have any crazy exes?
While all of these thoughts are running through your head in the hours approaching the moment he knocks on your door, there are more important things to be worrying over to prepare for a successful first date!
What are we going to do on the date?
As you are texting him asking what he wants to do, don’t make it a, “whatever you want to do,” conversation. This just leads him to picking something generic that, chances are, have probably already been done with someone else. If this is someone you think you actually may want to make an impact on, come up with something original that is more exciting than just going out to eat.
Look for things that are happening on campus or around the city or town that your school is located. A fun idea is either getting take-out from a local restaurant, or, if you have access to a kitchen, cook a meal together, and then take it to a nice spot that you wouldn’t expect him to have been to before. Keep it casual, and make it something that allows time to talk and get to know each other! Going to the movies is probably the worst first date you could go on, especially if you don’t really know the guy.
Going somewhere you have a lot of stories to tell is a good idea too. That way, there is always room for conversation if there is a lull. I went with this guy to a lake that I spend a lot of time at with my friends over the summer, and he surprisingly got pretty into the stories that I was telling about some of the things that have happened there with my friends from home! He got to know a different side of me that he would never have seen if we had gone to a restaurant or movie theater.
If you take initiative and plan the day or night out yourself, it’ll take a load off of his shoulders, considering he is the one who worked up the courage to ask you to hang out in the first place. Be yourself, and do something that you like to do! You will feel more comfortable in an environment that you choose, and it will give him a good look at your personality, because if he asked you to hang out, he probably already thinks your cute…
What should I wear on the date?
Unless this date is straight-out-of-the-movies romantic, keep your outfit casual. I would advise dressing to suit your style without trying too hard. If he sees you everyday in class with little to no make-up on, don’t go overkill on your eye shadow or eyeliner. Definitely put in a little more effort than you would on an average day, but do not, in any case, over-do yourself. Most guys like girls who keep their look natural. It’s not like they have to worry about doing their hair and make-up before a date night. Chances are, depending on what you are doing, they will be sporting a t-shirt and jeans, so why should you be all dolled up in a fancy outfit? Swap the dress with a cute top or sweater and your favorite pair of skinny jeans, and save the heels for the club in exchange for a pair of boots, flats, or sandals.
Remember to keep your hair neat and clean! Having a hair-do with a lot of hairspray or gel involved will only make you look like you tried way too hard getting ready for your night out. I suggest just simply straightening your hair and wearing it down, or curl it into some simple, beachy, waves for an effortless, yet put-together look!
Now that it is just us…what do we talk about?
Here is when Facebook stalking becomes less creepy and more convenient. From his profile you can tell already what some of his interests may be. Talking about things he likes, and actually listening to what he has to say about them, will make him like you that much more. Once he knows you are interested in what he is saying, he will start thinking more about what he wants to know about you.
Don’t be offended if he doesn’t ask you a ton of questions right away. This is just how guys operate. Conversations revolving around you will come with time. Women are proven to be better listeners than men, so put this skill of ours to good use on the first date, girls! Guys like girls who can stay engaged in a conversation for longer than 10 minutes. They also appreciate girls who can talk about more than just the party the night before and how drunk they got last weekend. Just like we don’t like shallow guys, guys don’t like shallow girls. Stay classy.
After the date…how do I determine if there will be more dates to come?
I am one to always follow my gut instinct when it comes to guys. Obviously, if he is not texting you, you shouldn’t be texting him every day asking to hang out. Even though the anticipation sucks and it is super old-fashioned, wait for the guy to text you to ask to hang out again. Better yet, if he lives in your dorm or is in one of your classes and approaches you in person to hang out again, congrats, you have had a successful first date!