Long distance relationship are no walk in the park, but have no fear! It is possible to have a happy, healthy long distance relationship! Having been in a long distance relationship for the last three years, I hope to provide some quick tips on how to deal with the distance. Whether you’re new to LDRs (long distance relationships), or you’re a veteran, here is my guide to maintaining a healthy long distance relationship!
1. Communication….. but not too much!
Communication is key in any relationship, especially when you’re miles away from your significant other. You have to be open about what you’re feeling and what is going on in each other’s lives in order to make sure you don’t drift apart from your partner. It’s easy to let the miles that separate you physically, separate you emotionally. Thankfully now you are able to text, Skype, call, and send each other letters to keep in close contact.
There is one slight problem that could arise in long distance communication. When your partner is far away, it is easy to hold on too tight and suffocate the other person. We’re all guilty of sending too many texts and asking to talk on the phone at odd hours of the day. But, this can lead to problems because you both have your own separate lives, whether you’re off at college or just living apart from one another. You need to let the other person breathe. Feeling like you’re being smothered can cause anyone to want to escape! It is important to live your own life. Until you realize that, you will spend many nights on your bed eating junk and crying while you wonder what he/she is doing. If you go out, you’re keeping your mind off of the sadness of missing him/her and having a fun time in the process!
2. Trust!
This may actually be the most important part of dealing with a long distance relationship. Trust, or lack thereof, can make or break a relationship. When you’re far away from your partner it’s easy to jump to conclusions over any little thing. “Did he just like her Instagram picture? SERIOUSLY? Cheater!”… If you’re going to have a healthy long distance relationship, you have to take some things with a grain of salt. If you jump to conclusions about situations that you don’t know about you can make yourself seem crazy…and no one wants a crazy girlfriend/boyfriend!
Of course you should both still set boundaries about what you believe to be the ‘”line that should never be crossed,” but after that, quit the worrying until you have significant proof that he/she has crossed that line. You can easily worry yourself sick about what your significant other is doing. My motto is, “worrying will not solve anything that may or may not be happening, so why bother wasting my energy?” There is nothing more crucial than trusting your partner in a long distance relationship.
3. Plan things!
Regardless of how far your significant other is from you, it is important for you to try to plan to see him or her, or at least plan some fun things you can do apart, besides the usual Skype dates! It’s easy for long distance relationships to become mundane, so spice things up by watching a Netflix movie “together” (at the same time). Better yet! Save up some money and go visit for a week/weekend. It’ll be worth it for your relationship and your peace of mind. Once you have a trip planned to see your partner, you can sit back and count down the days! Keep things fresh and exciting!