It’s a Sunday night. I have class in the morning and my lovely boyfriend of seven months has work at 6:30 A.M. Yet, he asks me this, “The guys want to go to a strip club tonight. Can I go?” First of all, he did ask for my permission, (it was kind of cute, I’ll give him that), but a strip club? Why on Earth would he want to go to a strip club? On a Sunday night. Oh, right, he’s a guy! Of course, I much would have rather he stay home and had a good night’s sleep, away from any temptress he might encounter at the Treasure Club. But who am I to tell him what he can and cannot do? I trust him completely and I know he would never do anything to purposely hurt me. But I couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened. Letting him go into the depths of all things rated XXX, was kind of like undergoing the five stages of grief. Let me explain.
Step One: Denial
This is a joke, right? He doesn’t actually want to go to a strip club, right? He has to be kidding. These were the thoughts going through my mind right after he told me his proposed plans for the night. “No way,” I said, “this is just a silly joke. You’re just trying to make me mad.” Then I realized it was in fact, not a joke and he was not kidding at all and I was, indeed, about to be mad.Step Two: Anger
“Hell no! I don’t want you to go. You can’t go. Are you crazy?” Livid may be too strong of word choice here but I was definitely above angered. How could he think I would be okay with something like this? Why does he feel the need to put me in this awkward situation where I have to decide whether I dictate his choices for the night or let him go to a bar with a bunch of half-naked women looking to give him a lap dance?Step Three: Bargaining
I even tried reverse psychology on him. “How would you feel if I went to a male strip club? You know, like the one from Magic Mike?” I thought this would give him some perspective on the situation, maybe change his mind a bit. But to my surprise he said something along the lines of, “I trust you, I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt our relationship and if you wanted a night out with your girls, I’m okay with that.” I pleaded with him and asked if he wanted to watch a risqué movie instead, thinking that at least the screen would save him from any physical contact. Nevertheless, he said that the naughty girls weren’t his only reason for wanting to go. He wanted a night out with the boys, who could argue with that?
Step Four: Depression
Now, “depression” is too extreme of a word in regards to how I was actually feeling that night. However, I wasn’t feeling great. I wondered if he would like the way those girls looked over how I look. I wondered if he’d think they were prettier, skinnier, or had better hair than I do. I even questioned whether or not he was truly happy with me. I worried that maybe he wanted something more than what I can offer. I wondered, what if I’m not good enough anymore?Step Five: Acceptance
He reassured me that all my worries were pointless. He swore up and down, left and right, that he loved me and only me. He promised he would never do anything to hurt me. “It’s just one night,” he said. “One night out with the guys. I’m sorry it’s at a strip club, but I promise none of those girls, or any girl, compares to you.” What girl doesn’t fall for that smooth, romantic babble? I sure did. But like I said earlier, if I trust him and believe that his intentions are good and pure of heart, what’s the harm? It’s not like I haven’t seen a rather dapper looking man before and checked him out once… or twice!
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