Grab your backpacks and your double-shot espressos, collegiettes, it’s time to welcome the new semester! Along with our excitement to get ever-closer to our degree, we all have to admit, there’s just something…. let’s say something “special” about the first few weeks of every semester that has us questioning anything and everything on those agonizingly early mornings.
1. Why did I think I’d make it out of bed in time for an 8 AM class?My bed is a cocoon of warmth and regrets.
2. Whose idea was it to make class on Friday a thing?C’mon; most of us work jobs that don’t mean weekend = two days off. Give us that Friday as a gesture of pity. I’m open to negotiation.
3. I’m going to put on makeup today! But I’m so tired. But I want to look cute! But I look cute without makeup anyway. But I just bought that new mascara! But then I have to do my eyebrows, too…It’s an infinite loop; enjoy the ride.
4. I’d wear sweatpants because IDGAF, but I want to make a good first impression.Don’t let people onto your secret life as a sloth just yet. Let ‘em think you actually try.
5. Don’t tell me; the professor’s going to make us do icebreakers.Or even worse: groupwork!! The word alone gives me horrible flashbacks to lazy groupmates and panicked deadlines.
6. Well, guess now’s as good a time as any to sell my soul so I can afford all these textbooks.#notevenkiddingrightnow
7. Better start that good ol’ caffeine addiction back up.It’s the only way to get through this alive.
8. How long until I can collapse onto the floor without it being weird?I’m pretty sure that starts becoming the norm about mid-semester. Keep it together until then, folks. We’ve got a long road ahead of us.