Our campus celebrity this week has won first prize of the most anticipated community activity of the year; Shark Attack. According to the winner, sophomore history major James Dunn, “Shark Attack is a game that requires people to stalk and attack people they don’t know in creepy places and be paranoid everywhere they go for an entire week”. Don’t let this language scare you, the game is played by “shooting” your intended target with water from a shark-shaped water gun. The “stalking” aspect comes into play when participants are unaware of what their opponent looks like, and must resort to Facebook, or simply asking people on campus.
Throughout the week that Shark Attack is played, competition gets more and more fierce, sometimes resulting in some shady play. When asked of his key to success, Dunn responded; “Well, my key to success was that one of my best friend was only 12 sharks ahead of me, and if I could get those 12 people I would have the extreme pleasure of betraying my friend, so I happily watched him gather 10 sharks of his own, and then metaphorically stabbed him in the back and shot him with a water gun.”
Thankfully, this friendship has since been “rekindled”, a distinct choice of words, if I do say so myself, as it turns out the first prize was a Kindle Fire, which Dunn claims as one of his prizes, the others being, according to Dunn, “pride and glory”.
If you’re saying to yourself, such shady play among college friends may lead to animosity and will divide the campus, Dunn believes the opposite is true. “I think competition always brings people together”, Dunn said. “It might not have brought me together with the people I destroyed, but it brought me closer to people that helped me attack those people. It’s nice to know that people are just as paranoid as you, and that everyone is involved, and that you can ask random people who other people are.”
Thinking back upon this experience, Dunn was able to recall one moment as particularly memorable, and describes it as the best moment of the whole week. He says; “we were all at DiverCity, which was a safe zone, while we were there, we got intel that the person who had me, and the person who had her were all in the same building, and we could all destroy each other after the event. So, we found out through other inside intelligence that if she killed me she would win because she would have 50 sharks total. We knew we had to get out before the show ended because she was standing between us and the door, so, I was with a couple friends and one of them took my key, and walked and got my car, she drove it back to the science center, opened the backdoor and texted us that she was there. Under cover of the applause for the acts near the end, we casually stood up, my friends made a wall around me, strolled to the back door, while another friend sort of talked to the girl to distract her, and as soon as we got to the door, we sprinted across the grass in front of the science center, jumped into the open door of the car, and peeled out of the lot. We ran into my room, where we were safe for the night. So successful.”
With this type of scheming, you would think that Dunn is a seasoned Shark Attack participant, when, in reality, this was his first year. He said, “It feels good to know that I am the best at stalking people and attacking them, definitely a resume booster. I haven’t decided if I am going to play next year, or just retire on top."
Whichever Dunn decides, this will surely be one of the best memories of his sophomore year at Stonehill. You enjoy that Kindle Fire, James!