Coming from a person who definitely DEFINITELY is, I’ll drop some truth bombs for you. If you can painfully relate to at laest 5 of these signs, join the club my friend, because you are dangerously impatient:
1. You never walk…anywhere
As nerdy and lame as it seems, I run EVERYWHERE. Walking? Ain’t nobody got time for that! Walking is for old people in museums or criminals who are trying to fit in with the crowd. I am neither of those. I will not be late. I run.
2. You cut people off in conversation.
It’s not that we don’t care about what you’re saying, it’s just that what I wanna say is awesome and you’re gunna want to hear right now.
3. You don’t think more than a day in advance.
To be honest, I’ve actually cancelled plans because they were too far away and I didn’t want to wait. Seriously. The logic is not there but let me tell I sure as heck am not waiting.
4. You are horrible at surprises.
Listen, you’re gunna know soon enough anyway, so what’s the difference if I tell you now?!
5. Standard shipping actually haunts your nightmares
Sometimes it’s hard to predict whether I will receive my package before I need to collect my retirement. #thanksstandardshipping
6. You skip songs like its your dang day job
Why wait?? We can listen to the next song on cue RIGHT NOW.
7. Previews at the Movies piss you off
How are you going to show me an awesome preview and then have “COMING TO THEATERS SUMMER 2045” flash at the end?! You’re killing me, smalls.
8. Driving behind school busses = death
Listen, I’m not going to try and run over little Johnny here, but I got places to go. And for the record, the last 3 kids definitely could have got off at the same stop. STOP STOPPING.
9. You’re a firm believer that “speed limit” is just a nice word for “speed suggestion”
Case and point, I’m a New Jersey driver. That should say enough about my driving habits.
10. You didn’t really read this article in depth; you skimmed it, didn’t you?
If you did this, you get the crown. Hey, I would too if I wasn’t written by such a ingenious author.