One of the greatest lessons I have learned in this lifetime is to never settle for less than you deserve. This of course does not only pertain to relationships – you should never settle in any area of your life. But, for the sake of this article, I want to focus on why you should never settle romantically.
Everyone has that idea of their “dream partner” tucked away in their wildest imaginations. We long for the day we stumble across them in a way that feels like love at first sight. This is what we grew up knowing and therefore expecting from fairy tales, movies, shows, etc. so, we really can’t blame ourselves for the high expectations. But, there comes a time when the wait seems far too prolonged and we lower our childhood anticipations of our Prince Charming to a more realistic standard to begin our search for true love. But, this is actually the most unrealistic part of it all.
Settling happens to the best of us – most of the time we aren’t even aware that we are. We meet different individuals, form an attraction, admire certain qualities, enjoy their company – all that you’d expect from a relationship. But, something may still be missing. Maybe they start showing a side of them that isn’t congruent with the person you first came to like. Maybe it just isn’t the right fit – conflicting personalities or opinions could overpower the pleasantness that a relationship is supposed to bring. It’s in this moment of realization that you either make the choice to move on and wait for the right person to come along, or you settle.
So, yeah. Relationships are complicated. But, trying to force a relationship or search intently for a partner can create more dissatisfaction than simply living each day as it comes and letting relationships form naturally. Singles ought to find comfort in knowing that they are waiting for the right person to come along – that they aren’t forcing themselves to settle for people available in the present if they’re not the right fit. Even if you’re in a relationship currently – don’t stay if it doesn’t feel right. You can’t force love with the wrong person. With the right person, however, it will come so naturally and blissfully that you will question how you ever settled for anything less in the past.
Everyone deserves to be happy in every aspect of their lives. Romantic relationships are an area of our lives that we do in fact have control over. Yes, every situation is different and yes, it can be complicated – especially when feelings are involved. But, you gotta put yourself and your happiness first. If its not right, it isn’t right. That doesn’t mean move right onto someone else. That doesn’t mean to be fearful that the same thing will happen again. It means that you hold your head high enough to recognize that you deserve better and refuse to accept something that doesn’t fill your heart with more love than what already exists there.
You will go through many stages in your life, venture to different places, see different faces – the love of your life will be found somewhere along that journey. They say the best things in life come along when you least expect it and that couldn’t be anymore true. So, don’t get discouraged if you can’t see a future with anyone you’ve met or seen in your current stage of life. Keep moving forward with YOUR life and one day your path will cross theirs, and when it happens – you’ll know almost instantly.
Simply put: Never lose hope that someone is out there for you, everyone has a match. So, don’t settle for someone who makes you feel anything less than perfect. Keep those high expectations of your dream partner – I promise it’s worth the wait.
HCXO
Ash