(photo courtesy of tidal/ Krystalina Tom)
We have all been there. You’re in a relationship with someone you love, or at least like, and everything is going well. You enjoy the time you spend with them, their presence and love the companionship as a whole. Then the honeymoon phase shifts and you begin to question what you’re getting out of the relationship. Do you really even like this person? Why do you feel miserable whenever you’re with them?
Then it happens, the breakup. Your companion that you have grown to really like and who’s been your confidant swipes the rug from under your feet and leaves you wondering what you did wrong.
Immediately you begin a downward spiral in an attempt to ‘find’ yourself. After trial and error, a couple bottles of wine and a few fake social media accounts you are finally getting back to your old self – the person before the relationship.
You’re living your life, your hair is growing, your skin is as clear as ever, the booty is popping—then the blue box appears on your phone.
“Long time no hear, how have you been?”
Immediately the record scratches, the music stops and you’re wondering how you got into this mess. All of the sudden you’re transported to the past and are now remembering the person you use to be, the person you use to know and the bad and good the two of you have been through.
So you’re still staring at the screen in disbelief, but what are you going to do?
1. Girl, Delete It!
This person means you no good. I know you want the fairytale ending where your companion does you dirty then comes back ready to get it right but sis if it barks like a dog, looks like a dog and acts like a dog then It. Is. A. Dog. Delete the message and move on. Do not try and make an EX-cuse as to why your EX needs to be back in your life. Leave them as an ex and move onto the next, you don’t need that stress in your life
2. Remember Who You Are.
After the breakup you probably were really feeling lost. You thought you loved this person, but their actions showed you the feeling wasn’t mutual. You’ve undergone a really insecure phase of where you just don’t feel quite adequate because if you couldn’t keep your love what can you keep? You’ve experienced your lowest of lows because of this person and now, when you’re finally at your peak, you’re considering letting them back in to potentially bring you right back down.
Let it and them go. Remember you are beautiful and how long it took for you to remember your worth. I understand that you may be curious as to what they want or you may just really want to patch things up with them, but sometimes you have to take the trash out and wash your hands.
3. If You’re an Adult and Can Handle Old Memories and Feelings, Reply.
This one is reserved for those who are really over their ex. Not the women or men who say they’re over it but still check their social media accounts, get salty when the person’s name is brought up or loves reminiscing on the past.
This is where you subtly gloat. Be polite and let your ex know exactly how you’ve been. Bring up your accomplishments, invite them to follow you on social media so they can see your flourish, tell them you have a new man or woman in your life. Make your ex feel like they let the heaviest diamond slip out of their palm—then stop texting them back.
Your ex is the past, don’t let them forget it and don’t let them sneak their way into the present nor the future.