It’s a beautiful fall day, and you’re rocking your favorite old jeans and those amazing new boots. This snazzy outfit, of course, demands a strut with at least a little bit of sass.
You walk into your first class feeling invincible, but lo and behold, the doorstep disagrees. Those two inches trip you and send you flying into the room, as your classmates look on, some empathetic and some amused.
We’ve all experienced moments like this when that second of overconfidence is shattered with an inevitable and humiliating stumble, trip, misspoken word, or faux pas. For me, this is a daily occurrence, especially considering all of the new people I’m meeting as a freshman.
These moments are usually followed with the typical repercussions of embarrassment: we blush, stutter, and are totally awkward. We walk away muttering to ourselves, cursing our latest social misstep.
You might be thinking, “She’s writing this for me! I’m that awkward person every day. All the time.”
If you are, I have good news! Scientific research has discovered trends in the behaviors and personalities of those people who most often experience embarrassment, and you might just be surprised at the results.
It has been scientifically theorized that embarrassment is an apologetic and socially conscious reaction, indicating the person’s desire to please. Erving Goffman’s article in the American Journal of Sociology suggests that embarrassment is a behavior that acknowledges a social mistake and compensates for it.
Therefore, the physiological and emotional reaction to an embarrassing situation is not necessarily selfish or unreasonably self-conscious. It indicates a desire to positively contribute to society and to positively interact with others.
Scientists at the University of California, Berkeley have also studied embarrassment in humans. Their conclusions extend further than many other theories and findings: they discuss not only embarrassment as a reaction in itself but also as a characteristic that gives insight to personality.
These conclusions argue that embarrassment is not only a socially conscious reaction but that it is most often present in people who care about others. In other words, people who often experience embarrassment are prosocial.
Prosociality, according to the scientists’ report, is “caring about others’ welfare and avoiding behaviors that may damage another’s welfare.” Their embarrassment does not stem from a place of self-consciousness but instead stems from a place of outreach and caring.
So what does this mean for you? If you’re that person who can’t make it through the day without somehow embarrassing yourself, take heart. Your frequent embarrassment indicates something more than just a socially awkward individual. It shows that deep down, you care about others and want to please them.
It shows that you possess the sometimes rare and valuable qualities of thoughtfulness and caring. So next time you take that tumble or overturn that tray full of food, just remember: the flush of your cheeks and rapid heartbeat aren’t signs of your embarrassment, they are signs of your character.
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