Once in a blue moon, a rushed morning arises and you are forced to neglect your morning coffee. You burst out the door feeling (and looking) like you just returned from a 20 year hiatus in Jumanji. Your eyes immediately start bleeding from the potency of the sun. However, as your self-pity levels sky rocket, try to keep in mind that the world may suffer more from this travesty than you do.
I’m a Slave 4 U Coffee
Your walk to campus is consumed completely by you making a mental list of all the aggravating things you see. Someone sneezes without covering their mouth and suddenly you’re 1 millisecond away from running through CVS, grabbing a razor and shaving your head.
This is Loony Tunes.
You turn 20 innocent bystanders into stone just by looking at them. A sort of Dr. Jeckyll-Mr.Hyde transformation comes over you, and you’re not sure, but you might have just hissed at the person who passed you on the crosswalk. You have truly fallen off your rocker.
‘Cause this is Thriller!!
You make it to Greene Street. Your mind is disoriented and you have transformed into a deranged colonial man that just crawled out of a mausoleum and is now staggering down the sidewalk. Bystanders who see you suspect a flash mob of the Thriller dance to break out at any second.
All aboard!
You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Your next stop, the Twilight Zone!
*Internal Screaming *
You continue your journey to class sincerely feeling like you’ve just been kissed by a Dementor. Your world bursts into flames when you hear a friend’s voice call your name. You’d rather get a 1309034871 house point deduction than converse with a muggle right now. It takes every ounce of self-control not to pretend you didn’t hear them. You give out the weakest hug imaginable and try to appear human for a few moments until you can get on your way.
Do you…aha..mind?!?!
You collapse in your seat ready to zone out for the entire class. The first slide goes up and the eager beaver behind you starts ferociously whipping through their notes and clacking on their computer. Their clicking pen sounds like a time bomb and you honestly kind of wish it was one, so you could be put out of this misery. Your head does a complete 360 to give them a warning glare.
Dreadful..absolutely tragic
You arrive to your next class entirely fed up from the day, sit front row, and self appoint yourself the role of Simon Cowell during the group presentations that are due, ruthlessly giving out unauthorized critiques. Everyone is crying.
At dawn… we ride!
Your thoughts are becoming less and less sane but luckily you have a break until your next class, so you can finally get a cup of morning mud into you.
Get a pot of java brewing pronto you fool, and make some extra for the rest of us while you’re at it.