We are taught as young as 15 that the more involvements we have, the more desirable we will become in the eyes of universities, employers, community, family, etc. Society encourages all youth to chase their ambitions, reach for the stars and make a difference in the world while pursuing what they love. By the time college rolls around it’s easy to find yourself dedicated to numerous interest groups and split between many responsibilities. Between classes, club meetings, work, an internship, social life, relationships, and the normal daily routine, people can easily get lost in the hustle and bustle without giving a second thought to their health. However, this is college! A short grace period in our life that allows us to be broke but still crawl home after a night out and not be judged too harshly. A time where it’s socially acceptable to go to class with a messy bun and workout clothes with no intention to even glance at the gym. And while our calendar can easily fill up with dinner and coffee dates with some crush or your best friends, the most important person to meet in this four year vacation of exploration is yourself.
Take time out of your week just to be alone. Yes, that means a few consecutive hours blocked off for doing nothing except what helps you to relax and be in tune with yourself . Write it in your schedule as “Self Care Saturday” or “Date Me Monday” but here is why it’s so essential to have time to be alone for a moment.
Time to reflect: We’re always changing, whether it be our mood, interest, taste in food or partners, or political stance. The point is sometimes we don’t realize how dramatically we are growing and maturing without an old friend or family member we haven’t seen in along time to actively remind us. Besides, if you are busting your buns to work hard toward a goal, check in with yourself if that goal still avidly fires up your passion and will provide life fulfillment. Furthermore, use this time to reflect to really give yourself credit for all of your accomplishments and what can use improvement.
Learn to say No: Say no! Yes blocking off time for yourself will require you to turn down an outing and yes the outcome will be ok. Learning to say no is an essential skill that demonstrates confidence, stability and security. People will learn to acknowledge your boundaries and respect them. With our generation FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is the leading cause to anxieties, restlessness and stress. Saying no every now and then will help you come to terms that you cannot physically be everywhere at once. Reality is there will always be another daygger/ pool barbecue/ study session/ dutch bros run. Taking a break for yourself and understanding the reality of time will help give perspective on life and appreciate the fun times.
Confronting your fears: I personally used to be terrified of being alone by myself for too long. I was afraid I would focus on past mistakes and all the embarrassing things that I’ve said or done in years past. During my experience of being alone with just me, myself, and my thoughts I’ve learned to confront my fears. I’ve painfully acknowledged my mistakes or slip ups and realized that I’m not half as bad as I led myself up to believe. I’ve grown to be comfortable with who I am and secure in my decision making. I tell myself more positive thoughts and let go of the negative ones, which has really increased my happiness throughout the day. Be nice to yourself, sometimes you’re all you got. Besides you will quickly surprise yourself with pleasant undiscovered qualities, why not be your own best friend.
Spoil yourself: You work hard throughout the week! Go tan, get your nails done, do some yoga, take a walk, dance to music or read, buy that dress or the shoes you’ve lusted after for weeks now. Whatever it takes, do what will make you happy or make you feel special. When it comes down to it you are responsible for yourself. As intimidating as this seems, and though you will constantly have loving support by friends and family, it is quite a beautiful thing to learn how you like to treat yourself so you can determine how others will treat you. Like Drake says, “Know Yourself Know Your Worth”. How else can we discover that without putting a little time on the side to get to date ourselves.