I like trying new things, and as we’re aware, I’m not new to dating apps. Last week I went on a date with a guy that I connected with through Bumble and I was honestly looking forward to it. Over spring break I was talking to a guy and we were planning on meeting up after only talking for a day. I knew exactly what was likely to happen and I was a little nervous. Nervous enough to cancel last minute and be relieved that I wasn’t going to hook up with a random guy in his car and then never see him again. I was a little nervous about that with this guy too, but he seemed a lot sweeter and warmer than the other guy and I didn’t really think anything could go wrong. I like challenging myself and getting outside my comfort zone a lot. Maybe that’s why I join these dating sites? But anyway, I said yes to the date partly because I wanted to, and partly because I wanted to prove a point to myself. My gut is usually right about these kinds of things, and I knew that going to his house was going to be totally fine. So we met up on campus after his evening class and we headed over to his house. We talked about TV shows and school and I instantly felt really comfortable around him, which was a good sign. When we got back to his house he started making chicken and pasta and we went upstairs to his room to watch some TV. He showed me an animated show that I don’t remember the title of and gave me a beer. We were sitting on his bed and I wasn’t expecting him to pull anything that soon, but he did, he casually set his hand on my leg and continued watching the show until he got up to check the chicken.
When dinner was ready we sat on the downstairs couch and watched TV there, and after I was done he went in for a kiss. Nothing crazy, I guess he just wanted to get the tension/awkwardness over with. He then put his arm around me and it felt comfortable for a minute, but then I remembered that I had literally only met this guy two hours ago, and he was already pulling shit like this. Let me remind you that I’ve never been in a real relationship, and couple-y stuff like that annoys me and grosses me out, I’m sorry. But I dealt with it. We eventually went back up to his room and I knew what was going to happen. He put the TV show back on and set his hand on my legs again, and from there you can probably guess where things headed. At the end of it all, he told me he wasn’t just looking for a hookup, that he was in this for a real relationship if that’s what I wanted, and knowing my past, I knew that wasn’t going to work. I summarized my outlook on the whole situation in about 10 seconds, and then he drove me home and told me to think about it. I told him I would.
The next day, this thought popped into my head: “so you’re not a hookup kind of guy, yet you invite me over to your house, make me food and do all that stuff with me after only two hours of knowing me?”. Interesting. I didn’t know that’s how relationships worked nowadays. I guess no one wants anything to build up to. I guess they just want everything right now. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw him and I let him know that I wasn’t a relationship person and he thankfully respected that. I don’t regret meeting him though. He brought me closer to my current truth in this part of my life. And that is that I am not a relationship person; unless the right person comes along unforced, and by chance.
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