One of the most difficult parts of leaving for college is leaving your hometown friends. For four years or more you’ve conquered the world with them by your side, and then you’re suddenly in different states with different people with different stories to tell. Though it is totally possible to maintain your high school relationships, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether or not making the effort is worth it. There are so many opportunities to meet new people in college, don’t let unrequited loyalties bog you down!
- Does the friendship make you happy?
In high school, a lot of friendships are created through proximity. If you have a friend in a class you’ll never fail to find a partner. However, when that proximity factor is gone, do you still have the urge to talk to them? Take the time to think if their presence in your life is meaningful or purely based on convenience.
- Is there equality in the relationship?
Do you constantly have to reach out? Are they consistently the first to send a text? Is one person giving more than the other? It takes maturity to recognize flaws in a relationship, and giving more than you get is ultimately unhealthy.
- Are you stuck in the past?
College is a time to evolve. You learn new things about yourself and take on new interests. If your conversations with your high school friends are only reliving high school, then you won’t move forward. You are not the same person you were in high school, and if you feel pressure to be a different person with your old friends, that friendship is in a state of stagnation.
Now, if you find that your relationship does have one or more of these characteristics, it doesn’t mean you have to cut it off abruptly. It just means you have to decide if it is worth an awkward conversation. Addressing your feelings with someone is uncomfortable, but it can ultimately help you decide whether or not you are going to continue your friendship. Bring up your insecurities! Lay it all out there. If you’re feeling this way, chances are, they’re feeling disconnected too. If they are within a reasonable distance, meet in the middle and talk it out over coffee. If they are out of state, FaceTime. This is something you should do as in person in possible.
Friendship is ideally carefree, but sometimes a little work can result in a lot of good times. High school is over, but the quality of the relationship should always trump the duration. If you can see someone in your life in the future, it is worth having awkward conversations. If you feel better because of them, make that step. Finally, put in what you hope to get out of your friendships; be supportive and active and love unconditionally. Let your dynamic evolve, and the effort you put in will be well worth it.
Feature image via Pixabay