Halloween is the best. It is one day (other than themed frat parties, mixers, and big little reveal) where you get to pretend to be someone else for just one night. It’s where you receive a free pass to be as wild as you want. You dress as your childhood dream, unabashedly flirt with strangers, drink something much too sugary, and for once belt out the words to the “Monster Mash.” But once the animal ears come off and the Jack-O-Lanterns have caved in, we want to make sure us collegiettes don’t have such a terrible November 1. Let’s avoid a Halloween Hangover full of regrets, torn fishnets, and “walks of shame.” Here’s what NOT to do this Halloween.
1. Don’t go out without eating first. This is such an important rule; I cannot emphasize it enough. Halloween is full of alcohol, let’s face it, this is college. But you are going to absolutely hate yourself if you go out on an empty stomach, because you’ll have three “morgue-a-ritas,” and end up throwing up in a disgusting club toilet. Protect yourself. Fuel yourself.
2. Don’t watch a horror movie right before you eat. Blood and gore galore, and now everything feels like you are eating a brain. Now you’re going to be hungry cause that spaghetti looks like intestines, and that doesn’t fit very well with rule #1. And while you’re at it, maybe turn on some lights for Pete’s sake.
3. Think about your costume choice. Halloween is a night to be someone you’re not, sure, but it is definitely not a time to steal cultures that aren’t yours. You don’t get to be Pocahontas, you don’t get to dress up as a G*psy, and you can’t be a sexy Geisha. Why? It may be stupid, but guess what? That’s not your culture! And taking something that is a part of someone else’s heritage, or even a stereotype about people, is incredibly offensive. Imagine running into a member of one of the groups you’re mocking. Imagine their eyes flicking up and down your racist poncho and your fake donkey. Awkward for both of you? Yes. There are a billion hilarious costumes, don’t take a lazy stereotype that will hurt someone’s feelings for yours.
4. Don’t shame other girls. You may love clever costumes that have puns and depth and hard work. You may love animal ears and some form of lingerie. You may have forgotten it was Halloween and now you have to dress in all black and be a spy. And all of these are awesome. Halloween is awesome, and it takes a whole buttload of bravery to put yourself out there. There is no faster way to ruin someone’s night than by snickering behind their back. Just because you personally hate slutty costumes, or because you think that “Edgar Allen Hoe” costume is pretentious, doesn’t mean you should make fun of another girl. She looks awesome. You look awesome. Just be awesome together!
5. Don’t leave your drinks alone. There are more scary things on Halloween than ghosts, ghouls, and goblins. As much as we’d hate to acknowledge it, sexual assault can still happen to you whether you are dressed as a devil or an angel. You are of course not responsible for the horrible behavior of others, but you can make sure that you are as safe as possible. Don’t let anyone near your drink, don’t let anyone get you a drink, and don’t go to the bathroom alone! You have got to be safe, and honestly that’s the most important thing. It’s not that you look the cutest, it’s that you make it home.
6. Don’t dress as a clown. I don’t care. I don’t care if you think it is funny. I just don’t care. No, no, no, and extra no. Not today, Satan.
7. Don’t limit yourself. You’ll regret the things you did do, but don’t let yourself regret not living enough. You want to party? You party! You want to go to two parties? You do that, girl! You want to stay in and watch scary movies? Yes, we are all for it! Remember, there are so many options, from costume parties the week before, and every day of Hallo-weekend, to events all around Dallas. Step out of your comfort zone, be scared, have fun, be a little weird- maybe wear a Harley Quinn costume to make yourself more confident. Just live your best spooky life.
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