Spoiler Alert! Do not read this unless you have completed the Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life miniseries on Netflix.
On November 25, I grabbed my mother, some popcorn, and the remote control, and sat down to watch what we both thought was going to be a decent revival of our favorite (apart from ourselves) small-town mother-daughter duo. We watched the first two episodes together but, sadly, had to watch the last two seperatly. That didn’t stop me from calling her the second the ending credits started to roll on the fourth and final episode. I didn’t even say hello, I just screamed, “WTF!?!?!?” I have some more WTF moments in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life that I’d like to get off my chest.
1. Miss Patty, WTF happened to you?
Our favorite dance teacher has become a ghost of her former amazing self. At first, I didn’t even think this was the original actress, but it is Liz Torres. Apparently she just lost weight, which I mean, good for you, girl, but I did not even recognize you. Maybe it’s the hair and not the excessive weight loss that is bothering me. Miss Patty, you rock the sassy, short red hair not this slick brunette thing you got going on.
2. Caesar, WTF is up with your hair?
Caesar, albeit a small role, holds a special place in my heart. Our favorite big-dreaming busboy, was great comic relief. But your hair choice is also a little whack, my friend. I’m assuming there’s only one hairdresser in Stars Hollow, and whoever it is needs to be replaced. They definitely did Miss Patty and Caesar wrong.
3.Michel, When TF did you get a husband…and start thinking about kids?
I always thought Michel could not love anybody but Michel and his Chow Chow doggies. Ten years later and he not only has a man but is possibly going to have children. This is something I can hardly wrap my head around…but I love it. The bitter, sassy French man in me now knows there is a chance at love after all!
4. Rory, Where TF are your morals? Sleeping with a married man, an engaged man, and a wookie?
We tried to give Rory the benefit of the doubt when she lost her virginity to Dean, who at the time was married. He was her first love and we all make mistakes, yada yada. But then Rory continues to make these mistakes. She does “What happens in Vegas, Stay in Vegas” with Logan, who has a fiancé, then has the audacity to get upset with him when he starts treating her like the sidepiece that she is. Then she does the unforgiveable and beds a wookie. Journalists probably shouldn’t sleep with their subject, that’s a conflict of interest I believe. All I’m saying is keep your legs closed and stop hooking up with people you shouldn’t missy. Honestly, I watch the show for Lorelai and have some issues with her daughter. She’s not as awesome as everyone tells her she is, and she needs to grow up a bit. Oops, sorry, someone had to say it.
5. Luke, Why TF can’t you understand surrogates? Also, why can you and Lorelai still not communicate?
You’re what, 45 almost 50 and you do not understand that you don’t actually have sex with surrogates? Also, can we just appreciate the perfection of Paris’ role in this revival? Of course the sad mommy-issues super star would want to be a power woman who helps mommies who actually want kids achieve that goal. Thank you Paris for continuing to be one of the best parts of the show.
Lorelai and Luke, I have some advice for you: a relationship is only as strong the communication, and it appears all you two do is watch movies and make out. It’s been nine years and you cannot tell each other what you want. It hurts us and we love you together, don’t do anything to mess this up.
6. Melissa McCarthy, Why TF did you do us dirty and not show up until the last 5 minutes of the final episode?
I’m so hurt about this that I cannot say any more besides… We were rooting for you Sookie, we were all rooting for you.