To the mom of the friend group,
You do a lot for me, and in between drunken nights and ranting about our other friends, I don’t always get to let you know how much I appreciate you. So get ready, because I’m about to make up for all the times you saved me and I didn’t give you my sincerest thanks. Thank you for making me share my location with you on Find Friends so you always know where to locate me when I’m lost on Friday and Saturday nights.
Thank you for tucking me into bed after you find me and filling up my water bottle that you insist I drink before I go to bed. Thank you for having a first aid kit in your room that you whip out whenever you hear someone say “my head hurts” or “is that blood?”, because I’m almost positive I would’ve died already had it not been for you. Thank you for waking me up from my naps when I’m about to sleep through dinnertime, or forcing me to eat before we go out even when I’m not hungry- my hangry side thanks you too. Thank you for not letting me spend all my money online shopping, I know I would if you didn’t monitor me, which is detrimental because I really am still just a broke college student. Thank you for forcing me go to class even when I don’t want to, and keeping me company in the library while I continue to procrastinate with BuzzFeed articles and Facebook videos. Thank you for keeping the peace in the friend group and making us all man up and apologize when we’re being stubborn. Thank you for knowing my limits better than I do and making sure I control myself on the weekends. Most of all, thanks for being a cooler version of my real mom. There are countless other things you do for me on a daily basis that make you as awesome as you are, and I can’t thank you enough for making my life easier. Please keep wearing your mom jackets and talking about our friends like we’re your children, because you really are a mom and I couldn’t be more thankful.