It’s easy to see the words “long distance dating” and immediately shake your head. The thought calls to mind too much work, long car rides, and a messy break up. In a similar vein, and this applies especially to those in a long distance relationship, it is really easy to see the negatives first or even only. I fully admit to participating in that claim, as LDR’s are work and it is so natural to see the negatives sometimes. However, from my personal experience, there are some incredible benefits you just don’t get from dating someone at the same college (although those relationships are fantastic as well). That is not to say that one is better than the other, I don’t think anyone can say that. This is simply a manifesto for LDRs, a reminder of and an appreciation for, the benefits of dating someone at a different college.
1) Every time you visit him/her it’s like a mini-vacation
You divvy up the weekends with your significant other and when it comes time to visit, there’s this odd sense of taking a vacation. It’s a break from your college environment and the immersion in a whole new college world! The two of you go out and there’s a whole different day life and night life, from the parties, to the dining hall, to the nearby town, to mountains to hike, to restaurants to dine at. Overall, it’s a blast in a place you (perhaps) would not normally visit.
2) You see your own college/location in a new light.
Within the first semester at your college you develop your own routine, home, swing of things etc. You’ve found your favorite places to eat, relax, shop, enjoy etc. Oftentimes you find yourself just sticking within that comfort zone that you’ve created, and maybe not venturing out to seek other places to find the same experiences. Having someone visit you, not once, but continually, with a whole new take on life, challenges you to find places to satisfy the preferences of both of you! That means not only sharing these wonderful spots you’ve claimed as your own with him/her, but also finding new spots together. This broadening of your understanding of the environment surrounding you enhances your college experience while creating amazing memories.
3) You have your own world at your college.
We’ve all experienced that time in a relationship when you spend so much time with someone that it’s hard to find space outside of him/her. It’s not an I went there, it’s a we went there. Dating someone at the same college is wonderful, but that whole balance issue comes into play. Balance between schoolwork, friends, boyfriend, extracurricular, family etc. If it’s a new relationship, your whole world suddenly shifts and you’re spending all of your time with your new beau. Dating long distance enables you to have your own world at your own college, independent of your significant other. You have your own space, study spot on campus, and particular table at the dining hall. The time you’d be spending cuddling, watching The Longest Ride is now spent on either friends or academics etc. You spend a weekend together here and there, wholly spent on them, and then return to a place entirely your own.
4) You appreciate them so much more.
Because you only see him/her every few weekends or whatnot, you truly appreciate the time you have together, and are mindful of each moment. As someone currently in an LDR, I find myself not taking the guy I’m dating for granted as much, in comparison to other relationships I’ve had. Because you don’t see him/her all the time, and can’t bop over to hang out whenever you want to, the weekends you do get are special and more fully enhanced due to that acknowledgment. Spending time together becomes a luxury and a privilege, rather than just an awesome way to spend the day.
Now, like I said before, dating someone at a different college, especially one that’s farther away, is hard. Especially when you’re downtown and see a cute couple holding hands coming out of that adorable French restaurant. However, as seen above, there are so many wonderful benefits that come from putting that work in, and oftentimes it is hard to recognize them. So, if, while over the summer, you meet this really cute guy/girl at the restaurant you work at, and are super hesitant to get into anything serious because he goes to college three hours away from you, take the chance. You never know what a wonderful relationship you could have missed had you said no.