The Skidmore Dating Scene: Let's Be Honest

Here at Skidmore, a campus of less than 2500 undergrads, many students consider our dating scene to be a little grim. Most blame the 60/40 female to male ratio that the College boasts, while others complain that the small size of the school hurts the dating pool. At Skidmore, long-term relationships are common, while the rest of us (it seems) run around trying to avoid any sighting of last night’s “awkward” hookup. And at such a small school…good luck.

So what is this all about? It doesn’t seem fair that serious relationships are the only alternative to one-night stands. Why should we—most of us, that is—have to monitor our social world to minimize possible sightings of the guy with whom it “ended awkwardly”.

While the College’s size helps keep couples together, being single can be a drag. Here’s what seems to be the problem: We know that Skidmore as a whole is a tiny place. Technically, however, us girls have just under half of that to choose from. That gives us around 1200 bachelors. Let’s say a quarter of them are taken; we’re down to 900. Next, I think it’s safe to say that (optimistically) 1 of every 3 of these remaining 900 will be simply “not your type.” That’s another 300 crossed off—600 to go. Now, of course we have to take into consideration that these lovely 600 are not all for one lucky girl to choose from. The fact of the matter is, given our 60/40 ratio, there are even more ladies on the prowl than there are men to snatch up.

Obviously there are many factors that effect these numbers—I’m not assuming everyone wants to date or even hookup, and I’m also not assuming that all interest lies in men. But for those of you to whom this applies, my theory is that sometimes we limit ourselves more than Skidmore does.
Whether we like it or not, there’s a certain “divide” existing at Skidmore, which we know is not uncommon at most colleges. Here at Skidmore, some may call it the “artsy kids and the business majors,” or the “hipsters” and the athletes, maybe even the “red side” and the “blue side” (you know what I’m talking about). While beer pong may be consistent across the board, the type of guy you’ll find at a party will vary depending on your “scene.” Nowadays, Facebook invites allow us to figure out a party’s vibe before it even begins, with a quick look at the list of those attending.

So, let’s take a look at these “scenes.” According to CollegeBoard.com, 93% of the freshman class will remain on campus for the full four years at Skidmore. Translation? Things aren’t that bad. Freshmen and sophomores choose between cramped dorm-room parties plagued by an ever-present “shhhh” to avoid Campus Po, or get-togethers at Scribner Village, and the Northwoods apartments. Probably the most popular and also accessible source of weekend entertainment lies in the reliable weekly house parties, often hosted by the same set of alternating 4-6 houses. Off-campus parties are large enough to get busted by the cops but also small enough that you might know a heavy majority of the population. However, with age comes a sort of social flexibility. Off-campus parties provide a beacon of hope for those looking to have a good time in a bigger setting.

Also, let’s not forget about our own Saratoga Springs, charming home to Skidmore as well as countless bars that many upperclassmen flock to on weekends. In fact, as any “Skiddie” who knows it loves to boast, Saratoga Springs has the most bars per capita in the country. This creates ample opportunity for dancing and bar hopping to replace the typical drinking game with the same people every weekend. Also, as many of us know from experience, the downtown setting is open to anyone who can get into a bar. (Interpret that as you please.) Downtown seems to be the perfect (and oftentimes obvious) destination around 1:00 am; just as the house parties start to die down, the party shifts and the beat goes on. That being said, you might assume the bars attract all kinds of students. While this is sometimes the fortunate case, usually Skidmore students quickly realize that this scene can also be quite predictable.

This is not to say though, that, given you believe the “groups” exist, the student body doesn’t mingle. However, what I do think happens, is that subconsciously (or consciously) people who may classify themselves with one group of people neglect getting to know people from the so-called “other” groups, and therefore limit their dating—and friend!—pool almost in half.

Now, I understand that many of the larger cliques at Skidmore exist for a reason; you gravitate to those with similar interests and values. But after all, didn’t we all choose Skidmore? This school is far (if not farthest) from a state university, and though it caters to a variety of interests, there is a certain quality and goal of Skidmore that attracts a certain kind of student (“Creative Thought Matters”? Maybe.).

Complain all you want (we all do at some point), but be honest: we love it! Sarah ‘11 claims to “like the familiarity” because it “makes it easier to branch out to other groups.” She says that regardless of your daily life, Skidmore makes you feel that you “belong.” So while the small size at times feels limiting, it also fosters a homey, familiar vibe that comforts many students as they meander across campus. The divisions of Skidmore also provide instances in which you will walk into a party that a friend drags you to and run smack into a clump of cute, available—and most importantly—unfamiliar guys.

Finally, I like to believe that most students at Skidmore are genuinely happy to be here. Friends who visit the campus rave that everyone they meet is “chill” and open to new things. “Regina George” characters are rare; it isn’t uncommon that friends you make here will stick with you through it all. So while finding a single guy you are attracted to may take a little more effort, the ones who stand out are truly good guys. The scary frat-boy aggression found at bigger schools (where a young unsuspecting freshman can face real danger) seems almost non-existent at Skidmore. Girls on campus are independent, and one student even argues, “Girls can be just as big of players as guys here.”

On those unfortunate days that we actually have to work, students describe the campus as “focused” and “calm” after a weekend of relaxation. While you are more likely to run into your crush on weekdays than students at big universities, at least the excitement of your social life doesn’t completely turn off when the beer stops flowing.

So, all in all, when you think you’ve “explored” all your options, keep in mind that you’re probably severely limiting your options, and appreciate the fact that, at the end of the day, Skidmore is friendly place. If you usually turn right in the dining hall…go left. There’s a whole new pool of potential mates.