Last semester I finally declared my English major. I came into college not really knowing what I wanted to do, and was just as surprised as anyone when I ended up in the Registrar’s office last fall to get a declaration of major form. I have always loved writing, but I never really considered myself “good enough” to actually do anything with it. The phrase “English major” called to mind high school teacher or failed freelancer living in their parents’ basement. I had heard these stereotypes enough times that I started to believe them, and so did not even consider that I would one day decide to study English until a few months ago.
I thought I would feel different after finally declaring. My last few years have been me responding with a laugh and an “I have no idea!” when asked what I was planning to study in college, and now I actually had a definite answer. For some reason, though, when I tell people my major it doesn’t quite feel real. I feel like I need to justify my answer with something more than “I just love writing; ” maybe give them a list of my favorite novels (all classics, of course), or tell them exactly where I want to end up after graduation. I often feel like a fraud, and am concerned that I will continue to feel that way until I am employed with a career that utilizes my skills. I expressed this concern to my mother on the phone last week, and was surprised to hear that she feels the same way. She has been photographing for years, has sold work, and recently shot an important event, and yet she hesitates to call herself a photographer. She still feels like she’s just doing it for fun even after years of professional work, which makes me feel better about my own situation. Lots of people feel like they’re faking it until they make it, even as they are in the middle of successful careers.
If you too are someone who feels like a “fraud” in any aspect of your life, like you don’t fit into a certain community or that you’re pursuing something you feel like you don’t have a right to, or aren’t “good enough” for, think again. Don’t stop doing something you love because you feel like you’re not qualified for it- everyone is in this position at one point in their lives and they really do fake it till they make it. There is absolutely no reason you can’t make it too, you just have to learn to ignore the voice in your head that tells you you don’t have a right to. Everyone deserves to be doing what they love.