Attention-seeking anger yet ironically not willing to discuss it
“Iʼm so mad right now.”
“Aw why hun?”
“Donʼt wanna talk about it.”
“Aww ok call me later?””
“Maybe.”
Maybe just donʼt make a status in the first place…
Is there a picture hiding in here somewhere? The result of too many hashtags
“I love him so much!” #love #boyfriend #cute #happy #kiss #smiles #home #sunny #backyard #dog #cat #squirrel #tree #rock #dirt
(You probably forgot the point of this post by now, right? Yeah, so did we.)
The completely obvious Facebook hack
Really guys, you couldn’t do something more believable than an “I just pooped” status?
Public self-deprecation (and not for the sake of humor a la Tina Fey)
Girl posts a picture of herself on the beach. “Ew, I look so fat in this.”
Wait, didnʼt you post it…?
The angry apathetic status
“If I see one more [insert current political/social issue here] status Iʼm gonna go insane”
Itʼs a social network, dude. Go read a book.
Song lyrics
Come on guys, that was so AIM buddy profile circa 2005.
Full albums of solo selfies
Weʼre sorry, do any of these look different to you? I think one would suffice.
The unnecessary life updates
“Going for a long walk with my hubby then making dinner and probably going to bed.”
“Great day today :)”
Congrats.
Any and all blatant spelling errors
Its just anoying when you want to like a status but their are way to many distractions
Instagram over-posting
We all love to post the perfect Instagram picture, thereʼs no doubt. But when someone posts six pictures in a row of the same location… itʼs an immediate scroll through.
On-and-off Facebook official couples
Itʼs getting old guys, we canʼt keep up. Letʼs just keep the relationship status between you two.
The recent insignificance of “likes”
That sacred Like button doesnʼt mean what it used to. We cringe when our fifteen year old cousin has an easy 100 likes on her prof pic and simultaneous rejoice when ours hits ten.