If you love watching Disney movies and often think to yourself, “I could totally be a Disney princess,” then this list is for you! Collegiettes, check it out:
1. Has something of yours gone missing lately? Is it possible that you left it at that party last weekend while making a clean getaway – and more importantly, can you not show your face there again anytime soon?
2. Did you leave your room feeling good today? Like you could take on the world in an outfit recommended by your friends?
“Of course those jeans don’t make your butt look big!”
They were trying not to hurt your feelings.
3. Have you crawled your way to the Dining Hall barely able to function enough to pour yourself a cup of coffee? Whether it was the aftermath of a fun weekend or a last minute cram session all-nighter, you’ve probably brought dishonor to yourself and your family.
4. Have you recently had to clean up after a roommate or friend? It could be clothing piled on the floor, hair in the shower, or the leftovers of a blurry night – but don’t worry, you’ll marry rich and leave ‘em behind some day.
5. Are you waiting for someone hot to hit on you? You leaned against wall, flipped your hair, and even laughed in a high pitched voice, but all your moves have failed. Sleep it off; your prospects always look better in the morning.
6. You’ve snooped. Don’t pretend otherwise. Significant other’s stuff, overhearing through the much-too-thin walls – you’ll take the information where you can. If there’s a section of the dorm you’re told not to go near, it’s obviously worth investigating.
7. Did you come back to campus this fall and have to deal with an up and coming student who is trying to dethrone you from your status as hottest person in the room/building/campus? Are you currently coming up with ways to get rid of the threat?
Alright, you’re not quite a princess, but enjoy being a queen while you can.
8. We’re all back on campus and away from our parents for what feels like the first time in forever. Have you been taking advantage of your newfound freedom and living it up? Are you going crazy with the new freedom – maybe sneaking off with a hot thief and then breaking a ton of laws in the name of love?
9. Have you decided on the whole ‘new year, new you’ scenario? Maybe a drastic makeover? Or a giant castle for yourself? Thinking about trying out for a music group on campus?
10. And finally… have you reached the point where you’ve stopped caring? Just really, truly stopped? Have you been thinking “eh, the essay can wait until next week” or maybe “nobody will notice if I wear the same sweatpants for three days in a row”? Buck up. There might be an incoming ship of hot people with accents.
We can only hope.