Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “Wow, I’d really love to get to know that person”? In no way other than talking to them in an effort to be their friend someday. In a genuine, “I want to know your story”, type of way. In the age of aggressive social media usage and apps like Tinder, it can be hard to form a basic relationship with someone else without reserve.
It seems that nowadays, we have so many preconceived notions of why someone could be talking to us, that it never seems feasible that they want to know us on a platonic level. Either they’re trying to hook up, or they just want or need something from us. Everyone’s actions suddenly have a motive, in one way or another. It beings to eat away at the “traditional” way of making friends; simply taking to someone you sincerely would like to create a connection with. In that train of though, we’re devaluing ourselves as human beings, and boiling down of the characteristics that make us unique, into trivial universal attributes.
It’s become hard to talk to someone without an emoji or a phone screen. Hiding behind “lol”s and smiley faces is such an easy thing to do. But when it comes down to face-to-face contact, conversations are harder to hold than Jello. All of these factors beg the question, how do we form meaningful and genuine relationships in a time dominated by technology?
Even being conscious of it, it’s still easy to assume the worst from someone. Along with the apps and texts that are apart of our daily lives, we’re also taught to be skeptical of everyone. It’s a generational trait; ours tends to be more guarded. This also puts more pressure on people wanting to make friends. There is an anxiety about either looking plain creepy or coming on too strong and scaring the person off. It’s a tricky balance, a terrible grey purgatory. And the fear of coming off in a different light can hold people back from creating great personal connections.
There’s no easy or grand solution to this problem. It’s not about curing a culture or rejecting all the wonderful technological advances we have at our fingertips. It’s about being more open, more willing to give people a piece of our time, or offer them some of ours. It’s about not worrying what someone’s secret motives could be. It’s about looking at someone and seeing all the things they could tell you, all the stories they could share, and being willing enough to listen. And hopefully, building a significant relationship from there.