College is a great place to learn so much about yourself. It can also be a place, where you experience some of your worst feelings in life. You look around and it seems like everyone else has everything together, but you! You start to realize that they are “perfect”, accomplished, prettier, fit, and the list goes on… By the time you’re done comparing yourself to everyone else, your self-esteem has reduced to little to nothing. If that is you, that’s okay. You are not alone. Here are four tips for overcoming comparison in college:
1. Be Yourself.
It can be cliche, but it’s true. Be yourself! It is said, “Be yourself because everyone else already is taken.” College wouldn’t be the amazing place that it is if it was filled with 5,000 plus “perfect” people. It would be boring. What makes college so astonishing is the variety of people with a variety of personality, interest, culture, and perspective that work together to form a beautiful community. Steven Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People once said, “strength lies in differences not in similarities.” The difference you bring to your college is strengthening your community. So, own it!
2. Acknowledge that you’re the Bomb dot com!
Yes, I said it. You’re the B-O-M-B dot com! You’re amazing. You need to remind yourself that on a daily basis. Write it on the mirror in your bathroom or make it the screensaver on your phone. Whatever it is that you need to do to engrave this in your mind and heart, do it! You have so much to offer your school community. You have so much to offer the world. You need to believe that because it’s true. STOP putting yourself beneath people! STOP allowing people to make you feel less than! Remember, that you are the bomb dot com. When, you have days that you can’t convince yourself of this truth, surround yourself with people, who truly love and care for you. They will remind you of, who you are: the B-O-M-B dot com.
3. You are not alone, my friend!
For some reason, human beings have convinced themselves that they are aliens. They have convinced themselves that their experiences are so out of this world. That no one could relate, but that’s…FALSE! While you are mesmerized by the perfection of someone else, someone else is mesmerized by your perfection. You are probably reading this like “Who? Me? Perfect? (laughs).” Yes, you! Someone on your college campus feels just like you. They feel incompetent, too. Try talking to people around you about your insecurities. You will be surprised to see how many can relate to you. You can find solidarity and empowerment in sharing your insecurities with people in your community. So, don’t be scared because you are not alone.
4. Know that you will Grow! Grow! Grow!
“I’M STILL GROWING I TAKE EACH DAY, ONE DAY-AT-A-TIME. I’M ALWAYS THINKING AND DREAMING. AS LONG AS THIS HEART KEEPS BEATING, THERE WILL BE NEW THINGS COMING ALONG.” -Roy Hayes
Be easy on yourself. The person you are today is not the person you’ll be tomorrow or in ten years. Every day, you are granted is an opportunity to grow. Set goals for yourself. Don’t make other people’s goals your goals. You are you. Do whatever it takes to be a better you, each day. You’ll see how much your school, community, the world will benefit from it. Your community doesn’t need duplicates of other people. It needs you. So, “Be yourself because everyone else already is taken…”
The pressures for perfection in college or in life will always be present, but may these tips serve as reminder that you are enough because:
HCXO,
Taicha