Meet “The Extrovert”. We all know them. They’re the ones that easily walk into a room and effortlessly draw a crowd near them. They seem confident, talkative, have an extensive social group, and can deliver a presentation without any hesitation. These individuals recharge by interacting with others, and often feel restless when by themselves for too long. Towards the opposite end of the spectrum lays “The Introvert”. Stereotypically, introverts are perceived as the quiet, shy, and outspoken individuals who prefers to keep to themselves, or the company of just a few people. Introverts recharge and refresh themselves by being alone, and out of the way of large, overwhelming crowds.
Then, somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, lies mysterious people like myself. We are in the grey area that mixes the desire to be noticed, and have an extensive social life, with the need to have time by ourselves to recharge. We are a unique (dare I say), rare type; made up of selectively social individuals. Let’s see if any of you relate! I introduce you to… the outgoing introvert.
You find yourself making plans which you end up having to convince yourself to go to.
I often find myself committing to attend many events. From movie nights to socials, and outdoor adventures. I want to do it all and, hey- often times I’m the one making the plans. However, after a long day involving many classes, constant socializing, and lots of interaction, I become socially drained. It’s hard to predict when my “social battery” will die, but when it does, I have two options. I either pull from a long list of excuses, or I muster any ounce of mental energy I have and attend, but try to keep to myself.
You constantly have to explain yourself… Because your friends don’t understand your behavior.
The worst part about being an outgoing introvert is trying to explain to my extroverted friends why I need to take a night off from the entertainment and just relax and keep to myself. They think you’re extroverted, so it’s a foreign concept of fun for them. But, it’s also difficult attempting to convince your introverted friends that it’s crucial for you to have a substantial social life, and spend time amongst larger groups of people. Both parties always seem confused in my choices.
People expect you to be talkative
When meeting new people, everyone thinks I’m an extrovert and expects me to do all the talking. The truth is I’m just as anxious and stressed as they are. Additionally, when I’m having more quiet days, my friends and family constantly ask me: “What’s wrong?” “Are you okay?” “Are you tired?” Nine times out of te,n everything’s fine and I’m just having an introverted, mellow day.
You are the life of the party
I love getting my friends together for a good time. Being the fun one is, well… fun! Sometimes I thrive in social settings where I‘m exposed to new people. I find it easier to relax, let loose, and have a good time with those that I’ve already built a relationship with. What’s sure is that when the mood strikes, and the right event comes along, I will be there and I will make sure everyone is having a good time.
…But there’s nothing you love more than your own company.
Some Friday nights I’m excited to go out with friends. Others I spend the day dreaming about how to have a blissful evening to myself to restore my energy levels form the busy week. I find places like, browsing the internet tin my bed, the gym, a coffee shop, shopping, or even studying alone in the library are a dream for the outgoing introvert. You still feed off of the energy from the people around you, but you’re free to keep to yourself and go about your life alone.
You genuinely enjoy attention (selectively)
Recognition feels good, and taking on countless leadership projects feels great. I love a challenge. That is, until I realize that when you put yourself in a position where people assume you love interacting with others, they assume you’ll enjoy other roles. Roles like talking for the group presentation, making a speech or announcement, or being forced to answer questions because you’re easy to call on in class. The truth is, we will suffer through it, but it’s not something we like to do all the time, since it can still be anxiety provoking.
You’re hard to get ahold of.
I can spend the whole day interacting with friends, meeting new people, and engaging with large groups. However, the minute I get home, I need time to myself. While I do read your texts, open your Snapchats, and “like” your Instagram photos, don’t expect me to respond right away. Outgoing introverts easily switch our social radars on and off. Don’t take it personally! As soon as we’re ready and we want to talk, I promise we’ll come to you!
Small talk is your enemy.
We outgoing introverts loathe small talk. There is nothing more we despise than having to endure tidbits of insignificant conversation. Oddly enough, most us outgoing introverts are very good at it. When we have to, it’s easier and more comfortable for us to carry a conversation, than have to endure an awkward silence. With that being said, if I’m going to talk to you, I prefer meaningful, genuine conversation, not discussions about the potential weather forecast for this weekend.
Now you know the life of an outgoing introvert, do you relate? Even if you can’t, you now have an insight into our world. I challenge you to share your knowledge (and this article) with a friend that you think may be an outgoing introvert!