We accept likes on our Instagram posts and love when people view our snapchat stories, yet when told face to face “your hair looks great today” many people will cringe or say something along the lines of “no, you’re crazy, I just threw this together” or “Stop, you always dress way cuter!” Why do so many individuals, especially millennials, find it difficult to be able to confidently accept a genuine compliment?
It about time we all learn how to be receptive to compliments. It’s time to stop deflecting compliments and learn how to greatly, fully and gracefully receive them with a smile.
Why do we Find it so Hard to Accept Compliments Anyway?
Personally, I always struggled to take a compliment because I didn’t want to appear vain since I genuinely strive to maintain my humble reputation. Somewhere down the line, I began to associate receiving compliments as greedy, but that’s not true. I believed that accepting compliments may make me look like I was fishing for them. This is nothing but flawed logic that many other individuals are drawn to believe. Provided, that you’re not constantly going out asking people to shower you with praise, there’s absolutely nothing wrong or greedy about agreeing that you did, in fact, do well on a test and accepting appreciation.
If a friend surprised you by buying you coffee before your 8:30 class, would you accept it, or would you reject it telling them “no, throw it away”? If you denied the drink, you’re discounting your friend’s effort to go get you a coffee that you’d enjoy and you’ve just wasted their time, money and genuine efforts. You wouldn’t reject it and let it get cold. Most would gratefully drink it. This is how I think of compliments now. I’m not going to sheepishly deny them and appear inconsiderate, but express my gratitude and move on.
Another reason it’s difficult to accept a compliment is because it sets a standard to live up to and draws attention towards us. It can be awkward responding to someone praising you because it shows that they’ve gone out of their way and taken the time to notice. When people take the time to recognize you, it can put many in an uncomfortable position because even if they do believe what’s being said, they don’t know how to respond. It’s hard to take a compliment, especially when in a group setting because you feel like a spotlight is shining down on you.
We’ve all heard countless times but, It’s time to be honest with yourself and stop constantly comparing yourself to others. Remember, you are your biggest critique. It’s hard to accept a compliment when you aren’t confident in yourself. If you spent a little extra time on your hair and makeup and receive a compliment on it, quit comparing yourself to those who may (or may not) have better hair and makeup skills as you. We can’t all have a Kardashian glam squad. Being honest with yourself means recognizing your efforts and work. There’s no use in pretending like you spent just five minutes on it. Be transparent, acknowledge the fact that you worked a little harder and looked how great it turned out!
Stop being so skeptical. While flattery may not get people very far, it’s important to acknowledge people with a simple thank you, even when you suspect that the compliment may be overexerted or have ulterior motives. That being said, most of the time when people go out of their way to point something out about you, admire you, they really do mean it.
How to Accept a Compliment?
Okay so the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The secret to accepting a compliment is that there is no secret! All it takes is a small “Thank You” You don’t have to make an Oscar-winning thank you speech because someone admired your taste in shoes. A simple Thank you, is a great place to start. Accept the compliment and acknowledge the fact that your shoes, do in fact look nice. Thank you is all you need, and it keeps the conversation moving forward.
Remember a compliment is not all about you, it’s a two-way street. The one giving the admiration is doing so because they felt inspired enough to let someone know that their work, dress, or personality has impacted them. It’s no fun for someone to spend additional time reassuring the receiver, or trying to convince the receiver that what they’re saying is true. Why should we rob someone of the opportunity to express what they’re fond of? A thank you is polite and adequate way to show gratitude. Furthermore, it keeps the conversation moving further. Once you get more comfortable, don’t be afraid to add a smile, express your agreement with a comment and maybe even elaborate on where you got the shirt they just complimented you on, or how they too, can study for a test which may lead them to achieve great results as well!
Additionally, remember that reciprocity is important. I began feeling more comfortable receiving compliments when I started to give them out more. Genuine compliments can be great ice-breakers, or they can make someone’s day. It often makes for more meaningful interactions. There’s absolutely no harm in recognizing others and there should be no shame in recognizing yourself.
Just remember, you do look gorgeous in the little black dress, and you are smart enough to ace your midterm, and it’s time that we stop denying the fact that we have the skill or the fact that we actually did look good that day. You deserve to feel comfortable and confident and recognize that you’re worthy of appreciation.