Female orgasms seem to be one of the wonders of the world, a true mystery, an elusive pleasure. But are they really? While some of us may struggle with them, others do not. What are your experiences with orgasms and how your partners approach them? Have you ever had one? Came? How do your orgasms fit into play in your sex life, or do they? What are your experiences with orgasms? Easy, hard, frustrating?
“Frustrating, tbh I can’t get one with myself or with other people”
-Science
“Currently, with my partner, I have yet to achieve an orgasm. I believe that it will happen eventually, especially as I am now extremely comfortable with him, and am able to get very close to the point of orgasming. By myself, I have absolutely no problem reaching that point, so I figure that the process of building trust with him is what is holding me back from orgasming when having sexual intercourse. Another thing to mention: because of our experiences trying, I feel like he gets discouraged when I am able to make him orgasm and not vice-versa.”
-FASS
“I don’t think I need to orgasm so have a good experience but I do need my partner to make an attempt. It’s frustrating that my pleasure is an afterthought. I have no trouble reaching orgasm on my own.”
“The first guy I ever slept with, who I was dating at the time, was able to make me squirt once. I never really masturbate so this was my first experience with an orgasm and didn’t know I was capable of it. I was almost disappointed though because it didn’t feel amazing. It wasn’t until my 7th sexual partner (boyfriend at the time) that I experienced an orgasm from clitoral stimulation, which feels 100x better than squirting, which I honestly don’t even like and try to avoid now. I’ve found that I’m now able to make myself orgasm, but the only guys who have ever been able to make me have the good orgasm were virgins before me! Kind of ironic. I find hookups frustrating because they either don’t don’t know enough or don’t care enough to make me orgasm, relationship sex is always way better.”
–FASS
“I wish I had something to say.”
-Environment
“When I’m alone, it’s really easy. I know how to get myself off in about 20-30 minutes at most, often less. When I’m with a partner, I find it difficult sometimes, and it can be frustrating. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a long time, though, and he’s figured out what works for me, and vice versa, so I orgasm at least half the time that we have sex, if not more.”
“A mix of both… in a fun way:)”
–Science
Between the Sheets is a series where SFU women can be empowered through reading the thoughts and experiences of women like them, and anonymously contributing their own! We deserve a space where we can feel comfortable and confident in expressing our sexuality (regardless of how sexual we are), and it’s time we make one. Thank you to all the women who sent in their responses this week.
Come back next week to read about the craziest requests partners have made! You can send in anonymous responses and requests here: https://goo.gl/forms/arWc80SIMEZ4PM2A2