Long distance relationships can be tough. They’re a constant fluctuation of emotions; of seeing each other and being apart, difficult bits and easy bits. And they’re something that a lot of university students face: leaving old friends, moving away from family, people you’ve made connections with on co-op or exchange, or maybe someone you dated in high school. To help remind all our LDR readers that they’re not alone, I’ve put together a little break down of some of the ups and downs of being long distance, with a little help from everyone’s favourite couple, of course.
1. Heartbreak
This is the chunk of time after you’ve said goodbye. You’re hit with serious melancholia and you’re pretty sure it’s the worst thing ever. You’re mostly sad during this time, and all you can think about is them and all the good times that you’ve had. You look at old pictures a lot here. It’s so hard, and sometimes you wonder if you’ll be able to bear it until you see each other again. Maybe you even question if you’ll be able to do it at all.
2. Acceptance
Eventually, your sadness subsides. You still miss them and wish they were there more than anything, but it isn’t as bad as before. You’ve gotten used to the distance and it becomes part of your everyday routine. You two, or maybe ‘you all’ if the distance is between friends and family, have mastered the LDR thing; phone calls, texts, video chats, they’re your new norm and the physical absence doesn’t sting as much anymore. Yes, there are definitely still some days that feel like the heartbreak stage, but it’s not as constant. A+ teamwork here in becoming actual experts at making long distance relationships a success! There’s definitely a little self-satisfaction around that. You begin to think it isn’t so bad and that you can manage until you see each other next.
3. Anticipation
You’ve made a plan to see each other, and the date is nearing. You’ve waited so long already and waiting just a week or two more feels like forever. All you can think about is getting to see them and days become years with your anticipation. How are you actually going to be able to wait so long? You talk about it a lot and can barely contain your excitement. These symptoms worsen the closer you get to the date, until you’re an absolute dysfunctional mess during your lectures because you’ll see them in only two days. The day before, or maybe the plane or boat ride over, is the most hyped.
4. Reunion
Then, the day comes, and it’s the greatest thing in the world. When you first see them, you can’t stop smiling, and that smile lasts for quite a while before you get back into the motions of being together again. This stage reminds you of why you go through all the other stages. Suddenly, you have an answer to all the questioning you do in the Heartbreak stage, and you wonder how you did it in the Acceptance stage. This is your favourite stage by far. Literally, everything is perfect and it feels like it’ll be that way forever.
5. Goodbye
Then, as it starts to near leaving each other again, you realize that it won’t be. Here, it gets really sad. The quiet, somber type of sad where it’s hard to focus because all you can think about is how this perfection will soon be over. Then, you have to say goodbye. It’s hard. You don’t want to. You postpone it for as long as you can. But, the Goodbye stage eventually comes. You were all used to being apart, and now that you’ve gotten used to being together again, you can’t bear the thought of doing it all over.
But, you do. You cycle right through the heartbreaks that seem so unbearable and live for the reunions that make it all worth it. Each temporary goodbye only brings you towards a more permanent hello, right?