My dear friend Stephanie asked me to list the life lessons that have gotten me through life until now. I’ve been waiting to catch my breath before writing it. I thought that if I’d have been less busy or more put-together, I’d write with more wisdom and poise. I’m seeing now that perfection was never what she asked for, neither will it be a requirement for me as an adult. The more I learn and grow, the more I realize just how much I don’t know.
It is both terrifying and promising to not have life figured out. I will be graduating college in less than a week, and I only have a vague idea of what’s happening next. This semester has been incredibly tough, but it was a great reflection of where I am in terms of proficiency in my career. I’m so thankful for everything that has led me here and all the things that have yet to come. I may not know everything, but here are some personal goals that have consistently given me a full and joyful life.
1. Be kind to yourself.
I’m a firm believer that you should “Treat Yo Self” every once in a while, but that’s not all this encompasses. Take appropriate breaks, and don’t let your health go on the back burner. Being kind to yourself also looks like pushing yourself to be the best person you can be. You should embrace your identity, celebrate your accomplishments, and pick yourself back up after you fail (because that will happen sometimes).
2. Love people generously.
Love people even when you don’t understand them. Treat everyone with equal importance. Give random compliments. Buy a snack for a friend just because they crossed your mind. Reserve time for someone who means a lot to you. You don’t need a big moment to express love to someone. Do it often, and do it sincerely.
3. Say no when you’re uncomfortable.
Your time, comfort, and safety are important. This goal applies to denying tasks you know you don’t have time for. It applies to the guy who keeps asking, “Where my hug at?” It applies to statements that hurt you. You don’t need to wonder if your discomfort is valid; if you feel it, it’s valid. Your voice deserves to be heard especially when it pertains to your life.
4. Be intentional.
Give purpose to everything you say and do. Take ownership of your life, and it will make you feel more in control even if you don’t have it all together. We can’t control everything around us, but at least you did what you intended to do and said what you intended to say.
5. Appreciate the little things.
Keep a list of your favorite things. Nerd out on the things that make you happy. Cherish the people that shine light on your life and make you feel like yourself. Recognize when you can’t stop smiling after a meaningful conversation. Allow yourself as much happiness as you want.
6. Have faith.
My faith in God has been the foundation of all I do because it’s where I find my identity and purpose. Even if you don’t believe in God, you can have faith in good people and in the future. A lot of brave human beings have taken strides to create a better future for all people, and you can contribute to that as well. There will always be opportunities to make life more beautiful.
These are the main goals and lessons I’ve constructed throughout my life. I’m thankful for the opportunity to reflect on this list, and I look forward to adding to it. Farewell, SFA, and axe ‘em jacks.
Photographed by Stephanie Lam